29 July 2008

Day 10.

I guess I feel sort of obligated now to post pictures regularly. But I am starting to feel a little vain. And bored (as you can tell by my futile attempts to do something slightly different).

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I went to the plastic surgeon again today. When he came into the room, he looked disappointed. I felt like I had failed him, so I said in (what I hoped to be) an encouraging tone , "It looks a lot better than it did, though, doesn't it?" He confirmed that much, to be sure, but he wasn't too happy about the way the healing's gone. I guess that he was hoping that he wouldn't have to see me anymore (for my sake, of course). And then he started massaging my face very agressively. In fact, "massaging" sounds like too pleasant of a word. It hurt. He said, "You hate me right now, don't you?" And didn't even sound apologetic about it. I nodded my assent.

Then he told me that in 4 months, he could do his revisions to minimize the scar, and told me to massage aggressively, regularly, until then. I guess to make the tissue soft, or something. BUT FOUR MONTHS? I have been thinking, "We'll just wait for this to heal up so it's not an open wound anymore, and then he'll laser that scar into oblivion! And this whole nightmare will be a mere memory." Putting a number on it like that makes it seem so much worse.

Ok, I didn't expect it to ever be "a mere memory." That would be idealistic, in a stupid way. But I did get this blessing the day after the attack: "You will be able to care for your wound properly and have no lasting marks." Which was pretty magical. Maybe the resurrection? Or maybe I just didn't/don't have enough faith. Regardless, I started to think of plastic surgeons as miracle workers, and my only hope. But Dr. Crofts gave me a scar treatment sheet that said, and I quote, "Plastic surgeons are not able to erase scars."

What a kick in the face.


3 comments:

Brent and Lauren Patterson said...

I remember going through that exact same thing. Although mine was an ACL surgery, my physical therapist told me to "massage" constantly and to rub it with vitamin E oil, to keep it moist, I guess. I didn't but now I have a quite amazing scar. But I do recommend you do what the doctor says, my mom did and you would never have known she had surgery. I'll keep checking you are blog to see how you are doing! I hope that it is well! Love Lauren

Lauren K said...

Hiya! When you put it that way it makes you sound like a steak: "It'll all be great if you just keep tenderizing the meat" but lucky for you a healing will be the result and not a slaughtering ... which is a morbid word, to go along with your morbid card, I'm not morbid usually I promise!

Anyways, if you do what the doc says and just trust that Heavenly Father keeps his promises, it'll be okay. Blessing aren't made requisite on what the medical world has to say, thank goodness!

Love ya!
You're other friend named Lauren :)

Bakes. said...

no no, actually, it was a bite in the face. hahahaha. im so clever!

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