16 January 2009

Is this normal?

Sometimes I see people, people whom I know, and people whom I like, and I avoid them.

I'm not sure why, and it's a bit bothersome. I'm sure it would be more enjoyable if I just did what I want to do: say hi, be friendly. Why is it that this seemingly simple gesture is at times so extraordinarily difficult for me?

Is it the feeling of unpreparedness always accompanied by a mild sense of awkwardness? I am not sure what to say or do because I didn't plan for it, and didn't expect it . . . ?

Or is it the personal commitment that I have made to myself to always under-perform? To compare and even create scenarios that I have no intention of fulfilling or improving upon?

You know, I just don't know.

3 comments:

Josh said...

I'll see people I know, people I like, and totally avoid them not because I'm afraid to talk to them and interrupt their routine, but because I just hate chit-chat that much and would rather just get on with whatever I'm doing in the library that day.

And sometimes it makes me feel like a bad person!

Bakes. said...

i do this too sometimes. i think we all do... i'm pretty sure you do it for a different reason, though..i mean, you're probably just embarrassed to say hi to people b/c you don't want them to notice that your fiancee just spat on the floor. inside.

James and Shawna said...

I do the same thing! I'm glad I'm not the only one. . . for me, I think it's because I don't know what to say, and I somehow create awkward situations! Next time I see you, I'll just smile and wave, and we'll both know that we don't talk.

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