15 November 2011

oh, do you need to vomit?

After the discomfort has passed, I often look back on vomiting with some amusement. It makes for some awkward and hilarious moments that seem to be great fodder for the blog — the kind of thing that pregnancy should be rich with, really (I only wish I had great stories about crying over ridiculous things like nature documentaries, but my emotional breakdowns, though perhaps frequenter than usual, pretty well concern the same things they ever did.). If you are imagining me sitting on the bathroom floor thinking about blogging a few minutes after vomiting, then you'd be picturing my reality not too long ago. Does that make me more pathetic?

But enough with the metablogging and on to the good stuff. This morning, I had a milestone: I ate oatmeal without throwing it up. For some reason, feeding me oatmeal was a good way to go if you wanted to see me barf, but not this time. But lunch was a different story. Maybe it was the oatmeal that was getting its delayed vengeance, I don't know. I was almost done eating a burrito that Tim (husband to the invalid) had assembled for me when he looked over at me and said, "Wow, you've eaten almost the whole thing!"

This is what our lives have become: Tim producing foodstuffs for me to consume because I can't do so on my own effectively, and then praising me for eating when I do well with it, which is not usually. The number of times per day that Tim asks "What do you want to eat?" and I respond "I don't know" is actually quite astonishing. Unless it's junk like cookies and cinnamon rolls. I always feel good about those lately, which is strange, because I'm pretty sure the only thing I had going for me by way of physical fitness before this pregnancy started was eating mainly healthy food.

At the moment Tim commented on my progress, I was staring into space contemplating the possibility of vomiting, and he must know that look by now because he ran over and stuck out his hands in a cup shape in front of me, which I proceeded to dry heave over as he guided me toward the toilet.

I think one of my favorite vomiting experiences so far happened a couple of months ago when I had a morning doctor appointment and gulped a lot of water in an effort to pee in a cup (which is hard to do in the morning). Apparently gulping water that way is another pretty surefire way to get me to throw up. After my appointment, Tim and I went to the Corner Bakery Cafe (which is literally on the corner from our apartment, how apropos), and on the way out the door, the moment came. The grass was kind enough to receive my offering. Public puking is the best.


Meredith said...

Yeah, pretty sure you're the only person I know that would think to blog about their vomiting right after it happens. Haha!

Holly said...

I'm a little confused about why you continue to eat oatmeal every morning when you know you're going to throw it up. Are you on a mission to hate oatmeal so much that you won't even have to eat any to vomit? I'd be changing up the breakfast foods, I think.

Also, I love the close of the story--Tim making you a bowl as you rushed to the bathroom. Classic. That's what husbands are for.

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