17 weeks

Isn't this nausea/vomiting stuff supposed to let up by now?

Also, this is what my belly looks like right now:

new technology? bummer

Sometimes I get excited about new techie items, but when I got an e-mail at work saying that they were replacing all of a certain model of laptop and I was on the list, I was indifferent. My laptop had been suiting me just fine for two years, and there weren't any problems.

Initially, I thought nothing would happen because the replacement process was never initiated, I was just told my machine would be replaced. Then they initiated the process, and I now have a new computer. I should be happy to have a new computer without spending a dime of my own, right? But I'm actually disappointed. This particular model of laptop has a less functional keyboard layout (which I'll probably get used to), and the speakers seem even worse than the ones on my old machine. Other than that, I haven't really noticed a difference.

I'm seriously considering asking about whether I can have my old laptop back. When they replaced it, I asked what would happen to it, and I was told it would become surplus. That poor thing! I'm thinking of it sitting alone, cold and dark (seriously, the IT area always has the lights turned down for some reason) and neglected. You may not be loved by many, but you are loved by me, little HP.

Babypocalypse 2012

Pregnancy is kind of a weird new thing for me. I wasn't sure how I felt about it before I got pregnant, and right now, I'm not quite sure how I fit into the broader context of pregnant women everywhere. I can't believe women all throughout the history of mankind have done this, even multiple times. What the what? How does it happen? It's seriously mind-boggling. And pregnant women are everywhere right now, too, it seems! I feel like I've never known of so many people who are pregnant all around the same time. Get ready for Babypocalypse. It's happening Spring 2012, World.

Being a participant in Babypocalypse is interesting. Sometimes I think I want to be the only person I know who is pregnant right now so that everyone will make a huge deal out of it. OHMYGOSH, I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED EVER THAT YOU WOULD EVER BE HAVING A BABY. LIKE EVER.

Because that's kinda how I feel about it. Even though all around, people are repeating this cycle of living and creating life, this territory feels terribly uncharted on a personal level. I've never really been around babies closely! I've never talked to pregnant women about being pregnant!

For a long time, I thought me becoming a parent would never happen, and I wasn't even sure if I wanted it to. At first, I thought it wouldn't happen because I didn't think I would ever get married. Then, once I was married, the issue became a lot more immediate. I started to think about my body differently; I had to consider birth control, and the fact that I never had a regular period became more of a disconcerting problem than an odd fluke of nature.

After more than a year of being off birth control without a period or a pregnancy, I started taking fertility drugs. When I started the Clomid, I did so thinking "Well, this has gotta happen some time," not necessarily sure if the Clomid would even work, but thinking I could no longer delay the inevitable. Though I'm not old, I'm not getting younger. And lo and behold, it worked, and here I am, and by all accounts, it looks like if everything continues as it has been going, sometime in April I will bear progeny.

I'm fascinated and in awe (especially after not functioning according to the womanly norm for so long) that my body is doing this and nature is taking its course, and that everything so far has been fairly normal. I must say, it was pretty miraculous the first time I heard Baby's heartbeat. My first ultrasound wasn't very moving (I wondered "Am I supposed to have any kind of emotional response to this unrecognizable blob on the screen?"), but there's something very visceral about the sound of a heartbeat.

As much as I still fear all of the things that could go wrong and what a horrible parent I might be and what if things don't work out very well, etc. (this list could go on and on and on), I am pretty sure I'm looking forward to this.

pretty song

I think that CJane blogger person posted this song a while ago:



It's pretty and nice.

bigger than a blackberry

I think that my gestating fetus is bigger than that mutant blackberry (which was rather pleasant to the taste) by this point. Whoa.

Go vote on whether it's a boy or girl (finding out later this week) on the married blog: http://timandarowan.blogspot.com/2011/10/baby-rowan-and-gender-contest.html

mutant berry

I ate this gigantic blackberry yesterday. After taking its picture. Because it's huge.

Italian 101

Last night my parents took us out to dinner for my dad's birthday (sounds a little backwards to me too). The menu item I ordered looked something like this:

cacio e pepe fettuccine, brown butter, garlic,  Romano, tomatoes   

Due to my lack of Italian knowledge, I didn't anticipate that the pasta would be COVERED with freshly ground black pepper. I could not taste anything else.

For the second time in my life, when the waiter asked how everything was, I complained and sent the dish back. I was kind of proud and ashamed at the same time.