So my friend Britney issued a call for responses on her blog about the question of marriage. i.e., She wanted her blog readership to respond to the question, "Why get married anyway?"
Her blog post inspired me to do something similar. My question is a bit different: Why reproduce?
I am interested in people's thoughts about their personal reasons for having kids. Hit me.
11 comments:
I don't know! This is a great question. Prospective mothers should hang out with my nephew for one day before deciding. I'm so baby full now.
Your blog posts get me every time! Hahaha. Why reproduce?? Well, I think it is what life is all about!
I was at church on Sunday and the couple sitting in front of me had their newborn baby blessed. It was their first child, and as the father blessed the baby, the mother just sat in her seat and cried. And then the dad and the baby came and sat with her and they were so sweet together. You could feel the love between them. And I realized right then that that's what life is all about and that's what really matters.
That was probably more than you wanted but there's my answer hahaha.
I'm so glad I inspired you! It was a great post, because great comments followed it. I hope there are many a answers for you too. I almost feel more qualified to answer this one than my own, though I am neither married nor have children. I LOVE children...they are beautiful, they teach you so much, they help you fulfill the responsibility to teach the gospel, to love like God does for us, His children, and to develop all the Christlike attributes (maybe patience more than any, and humility) they give you purpose and joy and something to wake up and work for every day and pray about every night - they give you reason to seek out the help of higher power and rely fully on Christ's grace when you are lacking, because we always desire more to be who we should when it is for others, or that's how it should be anyway. Thanks for letting me answer despite being unqualified. I think you should have children, and despite your "fear of children" I think you'll work it out and be fine parents, the both of you. It will stretch you, and I think you want that.
It's definitely not a decision to be made lightly. It's a HUGE commitment. And spending one-on-time with children, like Margaret said, is a great help. Though really there is no comparison when it's your own offspring.
Why reproduce? Because my son is the greatest joy I have ever known. I don't say that lightly either as I haven't fallen in love with motherhood as my other friends did. I'm not the "traditional Mormon woman." I wanted to be a mom but it wasn't the all-out only burning passion or ambition of my life. (There are MANY things I want to do besides being a mother.) I also don't think that every woman should be a mom nor do I think that every woman should stay home.
So, enough rambling, why have kids? Because they're like having a little piece of God in your life. I have never understood my parents, both earthly and heavenly, as well as I do now. There is nothing more amazing or powerful than to create and bring forth life. The happiness that a child can bring compares to nothing that I have known thus far in my life.
For some people it gives them a sense of purpose. I've also heard others say having children "keeps them young." It also teaches one to be like Jesus as being a parent requires the most patience and selflessness than probably any other task.
That being said, being a parent is the hardest, most difficult, most rewarding, most challenging thing I have ever done. But hey, it's definitely WORTH IT.
I think it's one of those things you don't really know 100% until you have kids. I think everyone needs to be "suprised" with their first kid or they may never take the leap.
After you have kids, you look at all the married people who don't have kids and you wonder how they can be happy, and what must they do with all their time. With kids, you lot less FUN, but an intensely immeasurable amount of JOY.
Besides all that, it makes you a better person, because you have to stop thinking about yourself. It's basically impossible to do what you want, and what is best for your children at the same time.
Thanks for posing the question. You helped me convince myself.
I won't tell you why you should reproduce, but I can tell you the two biggest things I learned from being a mom (so far) that I wouldn't have learned otherwise.
1. Like many have said: selflessness. It takes a lot of work for me not to be angry when I lose sleep or don't get to do what I want, but when I hold that little guy (who is SO cute, btw) and I can feel that he relies on me and trusts me completely, I can't NOT feel peace and real joy.
2. Faith in myself. I get so caught up in the little things, and I worry that every thing I do wrong will ruin Chase's development. But I am still learning to have faith that everything will be okay, and that I am doing the best I know how.
3. (I just added another one!) Dude, who else gets so excited every time they see you? And who else wants to hear everything you have to say? It just makes me happy.
You pose an interesing question, here's my answer coming from a young stay at home mom.
I don't think I fully understood the meaning of the word 'charity' until I had a baby. Where someone is so dependant upon you that you just willingly give everything you have for them.
I can understand the miracle of the Plan of Salvation better, watching my daughter grow and develop. Sometimes letting her fall down to strengthen her bones. Let her have new experiences and allow her eyes to sparkle.
I matured a lot when Rebecca came into our lives. I thought I was great and had a strong testimony before, but now I see that I was naive.
I think that it is the best learning process there is. Like Britney said, it really will stretch you. Your testimony will increase and while staying at home you get to develop new hobbies too.
Hope that didn't sound too preach-y! I think having children is very much a decision indiviual to each couple and only when they are ready!
"Why reproduce." First coffins, now reproduction. You make my life.
My personal reasons for wanting children include sharing my life with a little someone so utterly dependent on me. It's so reflective of the relationship we share with Heavenly Father, where we lean on Him in everything and learn about ourselves and the world around us bit by bit. I think the fact that He has allowed us to have similar relationships on earth is mind blowing.
Also, this is going to sound very selfish but that's not how I mean it, I love the idea of being so integral to another person. I love that I'll be the one they turn to with questions, that it will be my responsibility to teach them and nurture them and, most importantly, teach them of Heavenly Father and the gospel and their place in it. That's beyond cool to me. It's like the sort of love and eagerness of being a YW leader--these beings are placed in your stewardship and you have the responsibility and pleasure of doing everything you can to ensure they end up with Heavenly Father again. It's so beautiful. :)
Sorry for the dissertation. That's what happens when you ask a direct question and want a direct answer.
You get peed on--and laugh hysterically about it!
A simple thing like rolling over makes your entire day.
A baby's first (and subsequent laughs) have you cheering and tossing imaginary pom-poms.
Almost anything your baby does will bring a smile to your face, even crying sometimes because there is nothing more precious.
Laughing and lots of positive thinking and feelings have been shown to extend life and the quality thereof. Therefore, you should have children for the health benefits at least. ;)
I suppose I don't really have a comment on your question of reproduction, as I see it as a matter of choice that is made based upon one's own mental state, ability, etc, and should be left up to them.
Upon reading this post, however, I was highly intrigued to see that Britney had a blog! Ack! I'm not subscribed to it and must do so immediately. When I tried clicking on her profile linked to in her comment on this post, it said it was not publicly viewable. So I'm left in a 'someone better link me' state.
Could you, please?
Surely, David! It's http://landrumpala.blogspot.com/. You can also link to it from my blog's sidebar. It's listed under her name. :)
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