unemployment

I quit my job and my last day was three weeks ago tomorrow. That seems crazy to me because my life has felt like this since then: recovering from the serious disaster that I let our apartment deteriorate into (because I was quitting soon), going to Seattle, and then being sick.

I'm not sure if I feel like I have adjusted to our new normal yet.

I think I should have written about the experience of quitting more when it was actually happening, because it no longer feels like a big deal anymore. The whole process did feel kind of huge when it was happening. I mean, I was at that job for just shy of four and half years (4.38 if we want to be exact). So that's kind of a long time, right? I don't really expect to be missed much, though, partially because I took advantage of organizational transition to peace out. This means that my departure was administrated by a manager who I had virtually no relationship with before quitting. But he was actually really kind about the whole thing, and helped coordinate an effort to get me a zoo pass as a going-away gift. I will remember that.

People have asked me what I will do now that I'm not working. I guess I could have said I'm now doing freelance editing, because I am hoping to have a somewhat regular supply of freelance editing work. But I took a more vague approach (I haven't really gotten many freelance projects yet) and usually said "I don't know" while thinking in my head, "Maybe pay attention to my child?" Because the biggest reason I decided to quit was because it was so stressful to me to feel this pressure to be a good mom and a good employee at the same time, while working from home, and those pressures were converging all too often. Several of my coworkers, and lots of people in general, seem to be able to work it out. I honestly don't know how! I was always wondering "How do they do it?" And kudos to those for whom it works, but for me it seemed unsustainable.

I guess I used to care about accomplishing stuff and doing things and whatever, but the older I get, the more I think that my life philosophy should be to simplify, have less, do less, slow down, and reduce stress.

I've made good headway in this regard by wearing the same clothes every day, never washing my hair, not shaving my legs, not washing my face, not wearing make-up. That's kind of a joke, but it's kind of shamefully true, too.