maternity shopping

Confession: I continue to shop for maternity clothes, even though it's been 18 months since I gestated anything in my uterus. Despite not knowing whether there will ever be another occupant in there.

It's kind of weird.

When I was actually pregnant, I was hoping to not need to buy maternity clothes for as long as possible. And if I ended up needing them, I was hoping to buy clothes that could be worn at any stage throughout pregnancy or even when I was no longer pregnant. One size fits all.

I like the one size fits all approach in theory, partially because I feel like a lot of my values are sort of defined by the concept of frugality, which is another topic I'd maybe like to blog about. If my baby doesn't wake up from his nap, I could post 4 times on my blog in a single day potentially. This activity seems excessive, though, and goes against my sense of economy and moderation.

Maybe because I never felt incredibly successful in my maternity shopping pursuits when I was pregnant, I have perpetuated them. I guess I'm thinking that if I find good ones, I could wear them now! And wear them later, if I ever get pregnant again! Win win, right? But am I really fooling anyone? Maybe this stuff is obviously meant for women who are actually pregnant and isn't designed to flatter my current shape, and maybe it just looks silly.

Perhaps my biggest motivation for caring about maternity wear now, despite not actually being pregnant (can I overstate that? I am not pregnant.), is that it's pretty hard to look cute when pregnant. Or at least that was my experience. I felt pretty sickly during almost the entirety of my pregnancy, so feeling gross made it hard to not look gross. Also, I gained A LOT of weight. I still can't explain or account for the 70 pounds that should have been more like 27, but you can bet I looked fat. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't see me and I felt ugly. No one likes to feel ugly.

I guess I'm interested in stocking up the next time around, if there's a next time around, because it gives me a sense of control. Maybe if I have a few cute maternity tops, I'll be able to avoid everything that I wasn't able to avoid the first time. When I think about being pregnant and giving birth now, there's very little that I would not go back and change. I think there might have been genuinely good moments the first time, but all I remember now is feeling nauseous and depressed and helpless. Is it possible to have a really different experience next time? Maybe I'll sport a genuinely cute baby bump that doesn't misshape my face and turn me into a miserable mess. Cross my fingers. If I prepare now by building my maternity wardrobe slowly but surely, maybe I can avoid the failures of my nulliparous prenatal self.

Now let's talk about how to treat pregnancy-induced nausea.