The perfect thought at the perfectly wrong time

29-ish weeks

2012-01-26T13:38:00.004-07:00

Does anyone remember when my belly didn't look like this?

Me either.

I just got back from spending my morning at the nearby health clinic. After not having eaten for about 18 hours, having been pricked with a needle 5 times, and sitting in a waiting room for 3 hours, I'm just happy to be home nomming on Great Harvest's honey whole wheat bread. Nom nom.

The reason I was doing all of these things (fasting, getting blood drawn, sitting around at the health clinic) was because I failed my glucose test, which is a standard screen for gestational diabetes that they do around 24 to 28 weeks gestation.

Failing the first test means you have to go back and do another, more intense test. One which requires you to fast, get your blood drawn, drink an even grosser glucose drink (which is too bad, because if you're consuming a lot of sugar, it should at least taste really good, in my opinion), then get your blood drawn again, and again, and again. Three more times every hour.

I don't know if you were paying attention to the math, but if you were, you might be wondering why, if I only had to get my blood drawn four times, did I have five needle pricks in my arm? Well, that's because I was shooting up drugs one of those times. Just kidding. Or am I? Actually, my veins are small, so one of the attempts to draw blood was unsuccessful.

I guess my take-home message is to reduce my sugar intake because my body is not handling it super well. Regardless of whether my insulin resistance is at diabetic levels, I can say that my pregnant self has much more of a sweet tooth than my non-pregnant self, which has resulted in considerable sugary food intake on my part (and Tim's). Apparently that's not healthy. For some reason, the only things that sound appetizing whatsoever these days are ice cream, cinnamon rolls, and cookies. But on the bright side, we have this food group ("sweets"?) to thank for my weight gain. A couple of months ago, I wasn't doing well at gaining the right amount of weight (my midwife told me to eat more). But last week my weight gain looked good. I chalk it up to the cookies. Nom nom.

The other take-home message, I suppose, is don't do drugs.

how to chop an onion, or the greatest regret of my life

2012-01-24T10:11:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time I went to culinary arts school. Tuition at the DATC (Davis Applied Technology College) was free for high school juniors and seniors in our district. I started the culinary arts program the summer after my junior year. Unfortunately, I had too many schedule conflicts that summer to keep up the course, so I ended up quitting after a few weeks.

The first few weeks were all about food safety and regulations. You had to pass that part before you could actually start working in the kitchen. Once I was qualified for work in the kitchen, I learned a neat way to chop onions. Shortly thereafter, I quit cooking school, which is possibly the greatest regret of my life.

I chop a lot of onions to this day. Usually I do it like this (the special way I learned when I went to cooking school):

the day I got two haircuts

2012-01-13T12:50:00.000-07:00

I struggle with my hair sometimes. I would like for my hair to look nice, but I don't like to spend money. But in order for my hair to look nice, I need to get it cut sometimes. Also, I'm pretty sure it looks better when I have some highlights in it. I do that on occasion, as well. Generally about twice a year, perhaps.

Because I'm cheap, I generally go to places like hair schools and Great Clips for my hair needs. Anyone who knows and cares about their hair will probably tell you this is quite often a bad idea. Maybe if I knew a really great stylist already, I'd be more resistant to the voices of low prices that call out to me, but I generally succumb to their siren calls. About a week ago, I went to this place called Sexy Hair that was advertising $7.50 cuts. I went there with dirty hair because I was expecting a shampoo and style. Despite my suspicions, I didn't realize at first how bad the cut really was since spray-bottle cuts tend to result in ugliness no matter what (for me).

I got home and felt too tired to worry about my hair, so I took a nap. Then it was time to really evaluate the damage. After showering and styling my locks, I was nearly in tears and felt desperate measures were needed. I had asked for a trim and received a butcher job like some worthless piece of meat. So to Great Clips I dashed, and now my hair situation is somewhat manageable, though not ideal.

In my heart, I wish that hair wouldn't grow or that we were all born completely bald, but I guess I've learned a lesson: when you're cheap, sometimes you get what you pay for. Whether this will stop me from frequenting second-hand stores and Great Clips-esque hair-cutting institutions is another matter.

another embarrassing moment brought to you by a younger Amanda

2012-01-12T10:01:00.001-07:00

Remember tear-away pants?

I used to have a pair. I also used to be in a dance class. Once, I wore my tear-away pants to my dance lesson. Supposedly, it was standard practice with these pants to wear shorts underneath. As a harmless joke, a fellow dance classmate decided to tear away my pants. The joke wasn't as harmless as it could have been, though, because instead of revealing shorts, she revealed my underwear. Just to be safe, I might have never worn these pants again.

2012

2012-01-01T12:12:00.004-07:00

I've seen the words "May 2012 . . . " a couple of times so far, and every time I do, I read it as the month of May, not the verb (as it is used). It's tripping me up.

May 2012 bring you and yours the best!

Yay!!!!!!

2011-12-27T20:04:00.001-07:00

We watched It's a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve and it was the best thing we ever did. I can't get over this scene. It makes me glad.

why semi-adults should not wear baby clothes

2011-12-23T08:31:00.002-07:00

My friend Britney is doing a series of throwback posts on her blog right now to commemorate her upcoming birthday. Her most recent post about extracurricular activities reminded me of this one embarrassing experience I had in high school. If I ever do a series of throwback posts, I think I'll commemorate embarrassing experiences from my past because I can remember several off the top of my head. (My memory for most other things is not so great.)

Once upon a time I found this tank top bodysuit/onesie, and I was so pleased. It kind of looked like this:

Apparently this is not really a common item of clothing, so I had a hard time finding an appropriate picture when I searched online. But imagine something similar to that hot little red number: a camisole in white with a snap-crotch closure. I loved this thing! I was always having issues with my undershirts coming untucked or riding up or whatever, so it seemed like the perfect solution. An undershirt that would never come untucked!

One day, I was hanging out after school for mock trial, wearing my awesome undershirt onesie, and I went to the bathroom. The thing is, I started getting kind of lazy about snapping it closed when I had to go potty.

You might be able to imagine what happened next. I came back to the classroom we were working in and the back flap was totally hanging out of the skirt I was wearing. My fellow mock trial participant Stephanie Handy (I wonder what Stephanie's up to these days . . . ) informed me of my oversight. She was probably pretty confused, but I appreciate her telling me how weird I looked.

Moral of the story: people who dress themselves should not wear baby clothes.

sleep monitor, take 3

2011-12-21T16:09:00.001-07:00

I wore that crazy contraption to bed in order to get some cold, hard cash, because I will apparently do practically anything for money. I'm participating in a study that requires me to wear a sleep monitor two nights (or more if it fails and you have to repeat) during different points in pregnancy. This study, the sleep breathing assessment, is a subsidiary study to the NuMom2B study, which I've been participating in for these past few pregnant months. Months of being pregnant. Anyway.

The NuMom2B study is rather a massive undertaking, as I suppose many clinical trials tend to be. This particular study is trying to gather data from a diverse group of 10,000 women who are pregnant with their first child to better determine factors that result in outcomes such as premature birth, low birth weight, preeclampsia, etc. It's interesting and kind of terrifying how unpredictable some of these complications are, so this study hopes to clear up some of the existing uncertainty. The problem is, it seems difficult to really determine the underlying cause of pretty much any outcome.

I recently read an article discussing Milwaukee's campaign against co-sleeping. Have you seen it?

Courtesy the Milwaukee Public Health Department:

Seeing the ad made me wonder about what exactly prompted such a targeted campaign. (Some incident where a Milwaukee mother put a cleaver in her baby's crib?) Apparently, Milwaukee has one of the highest infant death rates in the country (10.4 deaths for every 1,000 live births in 2009), and at least some of these deaths are caused by "unsafe sleep environments" for the baby. There are definitely a lot of other factors contributing to the appalling statistics, but my foray into the issue made me realize that it's really difficult to get at the bottom of what's going on here, partially because many of the contributing factors are sociological.

This brings me to a beef I have with the field of social science in general. That may sound really cocky of me to doubt the credibility of an entire set of academic disciplines, but that's not what I'm trying to say, exactly. Mostly what I'm trying to get at is that it seems inherently problematic to subject behavioral issues to research and thereby get at their roots. One of my senior courses was called "Gender and Language," and it sounded really interesting to me, but subjecting the question of how language is influenced by gender to linguistic research proved less tantalizing. The research questions were interesting, but the resulting data seemed inevitably ambiguous. (Did anyone else taking social science classes have this hang-up?)

I'm actually not really sure what the sleep breathing assessment is trying to do, except gather additional data about factors that may influence pregnancy outcomes. But I've wondered how they're going to get any useful data from studying my sleep if I'm not actually sleeping while being monitored. They are apparently trying to account for the quality of sleep, though, because I had to fill out a survey after wearing it that asks how I slept comparatively: "Much worse than usual," "somewhat worse than usual," etc. Too bad it wasn't a short-answer question; I can think of a lot of other ways to describe it. . . Anyway, I have to wear that darned contraption again because for some reason the pulse oximeter didn't read when I wore it last week. At least they're giving me an extra $25 for the added trouble. Like I said, I will do almost anything for a little bit of cash.

sleep monitor

2011-12-15T21:37:00.001-07:00

Wearing this again tonight. Happy resting.

shut-in

2011-12-07T10:44:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I was so proud of myself because I got showered, dressed, brushed my teeth, AND left the house all before 10 a.m.

I'll hold for applause. (It's really amazing how easily I'm impressed with myself lately.)

I went into a work meeting, and people there were so nice to say I looked good [for a pregnant woman]. If they only knew what I look like 99% of the time. Probably I look kind of like how I feel: not well enough to brush my teeth on a daily basis.

Not that anyone needs more evidence of how hard I've let myself go for the past few months, but one of the first things Tim asked me when I arrived back at the homestead was "Want me to get you your sweatpants?"

Speaking of things that I feel proud of myself for, the other night Tim brought me some toast and hot chocolate and I threw up most of the hot chocolate afterward. I've still got it, folks.

vitamix

2011-12-05T11:30:00.001-07:00

As we often do, we visited Costco this weekend. They had a demo guy there from Vitamix, and I WANT ONE OF THOSE MACHINES SO BAD! I was standing there like a young star-crossed lover, completely infatuated not with the man running the display but the nice blender he was operating. I kept turning to Tim, who was standing beside me patiently, and saying things like "We could make soup! We could make ice cream! We could make smoothies! It's so easy to clean!" I couldn't stop talking about it after we left, either.

There's a couple of questions holding me up, though. (a) Are Vitamixes really worth the money? (b) Where is said money going to come from?

this may seem obvious, but I never realized

2011-11-30T11:20:00.001-07:00

sheep-herd
. . .
shepherd

Whoa.

dreams more boring than life

2011-11-28T09:29:00.001-07:00

I dreamed last night that I was copying and pasting text from one document to another. I had spent a good amount of time doing that during the day, and it was tedious. At some point in my dreams last night, I also was doing the dishes. It was the worst.

20-ish weeks

2011-11-25T12:23:00.001-07:00

Posting belly pics on the blog is one of those moments where the "When I'm pregnant, I don't think I'll do that" thought is thrown aside. I suppose there is a lot about pregnancy and motherhood that is like that.

To make my motivations clear, though, I'm posting this for the sake of documentation and comparison. So here I am in all my fat glory. Enjoy.

Also, I decided that starting next week (as I enter the second half of pregnancy), when people ask me how far along I am, I'm going to tell them 19 weeks instead of 21, since it is accurate in a sense (see my due-date post). I'm hoping in the process to convince myself as well as everyone else that I'm not so very advanced so no one gets too uppity. Which I don't imagine anyone would anyway, really, but you never know with these things.

Now on to tell BabyCenter I've regressed two weeks in gestation. This will help convince me, you see, because who can forget how far along they are with those blasted e-mails coming in once a week?

Chef Bernhard's Granola

2011-11-15T22:22:00.001-07:00

I made some of this stuff, which has tons of nutty goodness. I'm excited to consume it.

oh, do you need to vomit?

2011-11-15T13:23:00.001-07:00

After the discomfort has passed, I often look back on vomiting with some amusement. It makes for some awkward and hilarious moments that seem to be great fodder for the blog — the kind of thing that pregnancy should be rich with, really (I only wish I had great stories about crying over ridiculous things like nature documentaries, but my emotional breakdowns, though perhaps frequenter than usual, pretty well concern the same things they ever did.). If you are imagining me sitting on the bathroom floor thinking about blogging a few minutes after vomiting, then you'd be picturing my reality not too long ago. Does that make me more pathetic?

But enough with the metablogging and on to the good stuff. This morning, I had a milestone: I ate oatmeal without throwing it up. For some reason, feeding me oatmeal was a good way to go if you wanted to see me barf, but not this time. But lunch was a different story. Maybe it was the oatmeal that was getting its delayed vengeance, I don't know. I was almost done eating a burrito that Tim (husband to the invalid) had assembled for me when he looked over at me and said, "Wow, you've eaten almost the whole thing!"

This is what our lives have become: Tim producing foodstuffs for me to consume because I can't do so on my own effectively, and then praising me for eating when I do well with it, which is not usually. The number of times per day that Tim asks "What do you want to eat?" and I respond "I don't know" is actually quite astonishing. Unless it's junk like cookies and cinnamon rolls. I always feel good about those lately, which is strange, because I'm pretty sure the only thing I had going for me by way of physical fitness before this pregnancy started was eating mainly healthy food.

At the moment Tim commented on my progress, I was staring into space contemplating the possibility of vomiting, and he must know that look by now because he ran over and stuck out his hands in a cup shape in front of me, which I proceeded to dry heave over as he guided me toward the toilet.

I think one of my favorite vomiting experiences so far happened a couple of months ago when I had a morning doctor appointment and gulped a lot of water in an effort to pee in a cup (which is hard to do in the morning). Apparently gulping water that way is another pretty surefire way to get me to throw up. After my appointment, Tim and I went to the Corner Bakery Cafe (which is literally on the corner from our apartment, how apropos), and on the way out the door, the moment came. The grass was kind enough to receive my offering. Public puking is the best.

due dates are jacked

2011-11-11T10:28:00.001-07:00

When people ask the question "When are you due?", I struggle to give a specific answer. Sometimes I'll say a specific date (arbitrarily chosen among the several I've been given—it changes with every ultrasound), sometimes I will say "early to mid-April," sometimes I will say, "The second week of April." Take your pick.

Before I became pregnant, I had no idea how due dates were determined. Now that I (somewhat) understand the process, I lack confidence in them entirely. Medical practitioners estimate your due date based on the first day of your last menstrual period (LMP) and add 280 days/40 weeks. Normally I wouldn't have any idea about this date when asked, but taking birth control then Clomid actually started and regulated my period, and I had to keep track of when I was bleeding because I based taking Clomid on that. So as a result, I actually have a fairly good idea of the first day of my last menstrual period, but there are even more variables once you've figured that out. Your fertility window, or when conception can actually occur, is (depending on the length of your cycle) about a 10-day range beginning around 2 weeks after you start bleeding.

Given its impreciseness, it makes sense that no one would really be able to determine the exact date of conception. Instead, they use the date of LMP + 2 weeks, which means you get an extra 2 weeks of being pregnant when you're not actually (go you!). Remembering I've actually been pregnant for approximately 2 weeks less than I tell people sometimes makes me feel like I have forever left to go . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . pregnancy is longer than this ellipsis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The accepted method of due date (or as the ultrasound machine said, "estimated date of confinement," which is awful) determination gives a rather large window of error. Don't ask me how large of a window, because my math skills are poorly developed. But if my exact (estimated) due date (let's go with April 9 for now) comes and goes and Baby Rowan hasn't made an appearance, I'll try to remember that I need not be anxious because due dates are ±5 days anywho. Oh yeah, and let's not forget that the length of a "term" pregnancy varies ±2 weeks, too.

What I get out of all of this is simple: even if my pregnancy lasts a "normal" amount of time and I deliver "full-term" (which itself is highly unpredictable), I have NO IDEA when this baby is going to get here.

editing amusement

2011-11-10T11:46:00.001-07:00

Being an editor provides me with the simple joy of asking humorous questions based on punctuation and word usage that less anal people might not wonder about. Example: "Emily's husband Aaron was not accustomed to dressing up for Halloween. . . . " (What about Emily's other husband(s)?)

Heh.

17 weeks

2011-10-31T10:04:00.001-06:00

Isn't this nausea/vomiting stuff supposed to let up by now?

Also, this is what my belly looks like right now:

new technology? bummer

2011-10-26T11:57:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I get excited about new techie items, but when I got an e-mail at work saying that they were replacing all of a certain model of laptop and I was on the list, I was indifferent. My laptop had been suiting me just fine for two years, and there weren't any problems.

Initially, I thought nothing would happen because the replacement process was never initiated, I was just told my machine would be replaced. Then they initiated the process, and I now have a new computer. I should be happy to have a new computer without spending a dime of my own, right? But I'm actually disappointed. This particular model of laptop has a less functional keyboard layout (which I'll probably get used to), and the speakers seem even worse than the ones on my old machine. Other than that, I haven't really noticed a difference.

I'm seriously considering asking about whether I can have my old laptop back. When they replaced it, I asked what would happen to it, and I was told it would become surplus. That poor thing! I'm thinking of it sitting alone, cold and dark (seriously, the IT area always has the lights turned down for some reason) and neglected. You may not be loved by many, but you are loved by me, little HP.

Babypocalypse 2012

2011-10-25T14:56:00.000-06:00

Pregnancy is kind of a weird new thing for me. I wasn't sure how I felt about it before I got pregnant, and right now, I'm not quite sure how I fit into the broader context of pregnant women everywhere. I can't believe women all throughout the history of mankind have done this, even multiple times. What the what? How does it happen? It's seriously mind-boggling. And pregnant women are everywhere right now, too, it seems! I feel like I've never known of so many people who are pregnant all around the same time. Get ready for Babypocalypse. It's happening Spring 2012, World.

Being a participant in Babypocalypse is interesting. Sometimes I think I want to be the only person I know who is pregnant right now so that everyone will make a huge deal out of it. OHMYGOSH, I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED EVER THAT YOU WOULD EVER BE HAVING A BABY. LIKE EVER.

Because that's kinda how I feel about it. Even though all around, people are repeating this cycle of living and creating life, this territory feels terribly uncharted on a personal level. I've never really been around babies closely! I've never talked to pregnant women about being pregnant!

For a long time, I thought me becoming a parent would never happen, and I wasn't even sure if I wanted it to. At first, I thought it wouldn't happen because I didn't think I would ever get married. Then, once I was married, the issue became a lot more immediate. I started to think about my body differently; I had to consider birth control, and the fact that I never had a regular period became more of a disconcerting problem than an odd fluke of nature.

After more than a year of being off birth control without a period or a pregnancy, I started taking fertility drugs. When I started the Clomid, I did so thinking "Well, this has gotta happen some time," not necessarily sure if the Clomid would even work, but thinking I could no longer delay the inevitable. Though I'm not old, I'm not getting younger. And lo and behold, it worked, and here I am, and by all accounts, it looks like if everything continues as it has been going, sometime in April I will bear progeny.

I'm fascinated and in awe (especially after not functioning according to the womanly norm for so long) that my body is doing this and nature is taking its course, and that everything so far has been fairly normal. I must say, it was pretty miraculous the first time I heard Baby's heartbeat. My first ultrasound wasn't very moving (I wondered "Am I supposed to have any kind of emotional response to this unrecognizable blob on the screen?"), but there's something very visceral about the sound of a heartbeat.

As much as I still fear all of the things that could go wrong and what a horrible parent I might be and what if things don't work out very well, etc. (this list could go on and on and on), I am pretty sure I'm looking forward to this.

pretty song

2011-10-25T14:23:00.003-06:00

I think that CJane blogger person posted this song a while ago:

It's pretty and nice.

bigger than a blackberry

2011-10-24T17:55:00.000-06:00

I think that my gestating fetus is bigger than that mutant blackberry (which was rather pleasant to the taste) by this point. Whoa.

Go vote on whether it's a boy or girl (finding out later this week) on the married blog: http://timandarowan.blogspot.com/2011/10/baby-rowan-and-gender-contest.html

mutant berry

2011-10-12T11:44:00.000-06:00

I ate this gigantic blackberry yesterday. After taking its picture. Because it's huge.

Italian 101

2011-10-04T12:21:00.000-06:00

Last night my parents took us out to dinner for my dad's birthday (sounds a little backwards to me too). The menu item I ordered looked something like this:

cacio e pepe fettuccine, brown butter, garlic, Romano, tomatoes

Due to my lack of Italian knowledge, I didn't anticipate that the pasta would be COVERED with freshly ground black pepper. I could not taste anything else.

For the second time in my life, when the waiter asked how everything was, I complained and sent the dish back. I was kind of proud and ashamed at the same time.

the good news and the bad news

2011-09-28T11:59:00.002-06:00

The good:

If my memory serves me correctly, there was only one word I encountered on the GRE that wasn't on our GRE Vocabulary list. (The list contains over 1100 words, though, so my memory may not serve.)

The word was inveigle. It means to win over by flattery or deceit. The American Heritage Dictionary uses "inveigled a free pass to the museum" as an example, which makes me chuckle.

The bad:

I never really studied the GRE Vocabulary list before taking the GRE. Consequently, there were a lot of moments where I thought "I know I saw that word on the list, but I have no idea what it means."

I did read Jane Eyre, though, and that's got to count for something, because those nineteenth-century authors love to use GRE words, I tell ya. Geesh.

bedhead

2011-09-23T16:32:00.000-06:00

This is a crappy picture that really makes me want to zoom out, but it's the only documentation I have to put here on this blog.

This is how I slept last night: less comfortably than usual.

Not only did I have the nasal tube (pictured) going in my nostrils and held in place by tape on my cheeks (that stuff kind of hurts to take off, which I didn't consider when I put it on), but I also had EKG strips stuck to my skin, three different belts strapped around various portions of my upper body, and a device (with a red light) wrapped around my finger. Each component had a wire connection going into a monitor (held in place by one of the belts). Holy batman, wires everywhere! It was strange.

I would show you a picture of all the wily contraptions, but my "pajamas" (read: undies) aren't exactly kosher for the blogosphere. TMI? Probably.

Why was I doing this, you ask? Well, I'm participating in a study that involves sleep monitoring. Duh. I'm actually not even sure what they're trying to figure out, but they told me I could get $50 for each night I slept with this stuff attached to me. So I'm all like, booyah, baby.

vocabulary

2011-09-21T19:47:00.000-06:00

For GRE prep, I've been working with Tim on compiling a vocabulary list, which involves finding words, looking up their definitions, and making flashcards for them. He's taking the GRE again next week in preparation for PhD applications, so I thought I'd take it with him this time . . . I might go to grad school in the next couple of years. Also, I like to commiserate, I guess.

This vocabulary list is frustrating a little bit because I keep discovering that words I think I know the meaning of actually have different definitions. For example, I just looked up the word nonplussed. I have used this word several times to mean something like "totally unaffected; indifferent," but it actually means "bewildered, confused, perplexed." Having the wrong definition in my head seems worse than not knowing the word at all.

On an unrelated note, I'm enjoying listening to music via Spotify lately. I listened to all of Bon Iver's semi-new album on it recently and enjoyed it. Also, (the semi-new album) Helplessness Blues from Fleet Foxes is nice. I like the title track:

a scan job gone awry

2011-09-14T12:30:00.001-06:00

This amused me:

mmm, hamburger

2011-09-12T13:25:00.002-06:00

The other night, I woke up around 1 a.m. from dreaming about a big, juicy hamburger. Tim suggested that we go to In-N-Out, which is open late, but that wasn't quite what I was imagining.

Where does one go to get a fresh burger with a thick, juicy patty, anyway? Also, since when do I dream about food?

revolutionary

2011-08-29T13:26:00.000-06:00

I just vomited for the first time in probably 15 + years. NBD.

Ever thought about how many words there are for this? I found a site called "339 Puke Synonyms." Which ones are your favorites?

biffed it

2011-08-10T12:19:00.001-06:00

I don't remember the last time I fell flat on my face. Before yesterday.

Well, actually, it was probably winter 2008 when I fell hard on the ice on my way to campus one cold and icy morning. Someone asked me if I was okay and I wanted them to go away. It hurt. But I'm over it now.

Yesterday, I happened to fall flat on my face in public as well. I was heading to the Trax station from Temple Square, and saw the train rounding the corner as I was waiting to cross the street. When the little green man indicated that it was safe to cross, I broke into a slight run (I can only do so much in a skirt, really) in order to try and catch the train.

I thought hope was lost because the train stopped at the station long before I got there. But then it waited, and kept waiting, so I continued to walk/jog/run to the train. As I was striding across the platform to meet it, I tripped on a grate that was sticking up and fell. Flat on my face. Seriously. I looked like this, kind of:

I bruised my hip and skinned my elbow and knee, but I got up quickly (without looking around or making eye contact with anyone) and continued to the train, which was still conveniently waiting. Then I pressed the "Open Door" button. But nothing happened, and within just a second or two, the train was on its way.

Curse you, Trax!

emergency accident

2011-08-10T11:05:00.000-06:00

Last Tuesday, I stopped by Smith's in the morning on my way to work to get some bread for a fondue shin-dig that was happening during the day. When I went, I was reminded of the sale: buy 4 participating General Mills products for $10 and get 2 gallons of milk free. Good deal, yeah? And since the deal ended the same day I stopped at Smith's, I figured I'd take advantage of it then.

Then I had the dilemma of what to do with the milk. Do I go all the way back home and then go to work again? No, that would be silly. I went on to work. I left the boxes of Corn Chex in the car and carried the milk, both gallons, up to my floor's break room and went on.

When I left for the day, I got the milk and got in the elevator. I used the thumb of the hand I was carrying one gallon of milk to press the elevator button, and the milk decided to press the emergency alarm button. I heard a bell ring but nothing seemed to happen after that. I didn't really stick around the premises long enough to find out, though.

technology magic

2011-08-08T15:13:00.002-06:00

So I've been rereading Harry Potter recently. I spent most of my day on Saturday reading the fifth book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. In fact, I read the entire thing on Saturday. Seems unhealthy.

As I read I keep thinking how, for us Muggles, technology is magic. What are Harry, Hermione, and Ron doing in the library searching for the perfect charm in order to enable Harry to stay alive underwater for an hour? Why aren't they Googling this? Also, why are they sending letters by owl post when they need to contact someone urgently? The Muggle world uses "fellytones," especially mobile phones, don't they?

The magical world of Harry Potter seems pretty behind the times in some ways.

the "random" feature on NPR

2011-08-02T17:24:00.000-06:00

NPR's morning edition usually does a random news tidbit. You can read such stories on their website in the "Strange News" section. I like to call it the "random" feature, though. They're usually like 30-second blips.

Often, these are the stories I remember for a long time to come, not the important or compelling ones. I still remember the story about a couple who got married on New Year's (see? 8 months later here, folks), who were married on a boat in Pennsylvania and jumped into freezing water. A wedding to remember, or something.

This morning's story totally made me chuckle on my morning commute, which is a pretty big feat. It was about a London aquarium that acquired a new exotic fish. This fish was apparently quite fat, because his previous owners fed him a diet of straight chocolate. To wean him off his chocolate diet, the aquarium folks fed him fruit with Kit Kats crushed inside.

It reminded me of that cookbook with kid-friendly recipes containing hidden ingredients, usually unappetizing to children, but very nutritious.

I think we can all learn a lesson from this story.

a song for your day

2011-08-02T16:55:00.000-06:00

Please enjoy.

speaking of dumpster diving

2011-07-28T13:34:00.001-06:00

I pulled another chair out of a dumpster recently.

I think I'm going to start a business of pulling slashed chairs out of Office Depot-type dumpsters, then stitching them up and selling them for below market value. But I am really bad at stitching, as I am inconsistent, lazy, and slow, so this probably isn't my best business idea. Also, I think some of these chairs are thrown away due to defects.

Sigh.

Here's my other business idea (and if any of you steal it, I'm going to be very mad): Subway-style pizza restaurant. Personal-sized pizzas with your choice of sauce, toppings, and cheese, baked in wood-burning pizza oven. To go.

I should be an entrepreneur, right?

call it devotion

2011-07-27T16:42:00.002-06:00

Last Sunday I was doing the dishes and the worst of bad things to happen happened: I broke my food processor.

As I was washing it, a piece of plastic broke off the lid. I was going to try to glue it back on, so I saved it by sitting it out on the counter while I finished my task. Later on, I asked Tim to take out the garbage, which he did. Sometime after he returned, I discovered my precious plastic was missing. So I asked Tim what happened to it. He revealed that he had thrown it away.

I thought about screaming "Why would you ever throw something like that away?!?!" But then I realized it's a pretty reasonable thing to do. So instead, we walked hand in hand to the dumpster (on our way out, we told our neighbor we were going dumpster diving, and he offered to help if needed—isn't that so neighborly?), retrieved the garbage bag, and rifled through it together, looking for that annoyingly elusive plastic shard.

This bit of trash was quite possibly the most disgusting bag of trash to come out of our apartment in weeks (which is why I asked Tim to remove it posthaste). Not that you wanted to know, but it contained shrimp peels and guts (seriously, it took forever to devein those), rotten limes, mushy tomatoes, and plenty of hairballs and dust bunnies from the freshly swept floor.

Never did find it, though. The only thing that's keeping me from sobbing into my mousepad right now is that the food processor actually is still functional without it.

Why I Might Suck as a Mother

2011-07-27T14:13:00.002-06:00

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/07/26/138709595/6-year-old-shark-attack-victim-i-forgive-him

I read this blog the other day. I thought it was amusing, slightly, because it seemed like a ridiculous story to garner such a large amount of media coverage. But beyond that, I felt it was funny that the mother talked to her child about the shark this way: "The shark didn't mean to, it was an accident," and the child then saying "I forgive the shark." My thought? The shark doesn't need your forgiveness, child.

One person wrote, 'How about, "I don't hold a grudge against sharks, or the natural, instinctual actions of wild animals in general." Forgiveness it not called for, not relevant, and certainly not cared about (even known about) by the animal. It may be just as important to teach a child not to anthropomorphize.'

And I tend to agree/relate to that comment. (This commenter was accused of being a cynic in another comment. Guilty as charged?) Maybe it's because I don't really like animals too much, so I'm not interested in being "friends" with them. Or for my children to be (I often dread becoming a pet owner, which seems inevitable as a parent). It's a natural thing to do as a kid, to love animals. I might have even been that way myself before I started calling myself mature and seeing no value, only inconvenience, associated with owning a pet. Oh, and I might have felt that way before that one time when a dog bit my face off. That incited some dog dislike. But was forgiving the dog really an issue? Was blaming the dog really an issue? Animals are animals, and their behavior is unpredictable and not motivated by agency. I don't think I really can be any kind of judge there.

So how does this serve as a predictor of my inadequacy as a mother? It serves to show that I don't think like a child and don't know how to think like a child, nor do I understand how to appreciate the way children think.

You know, I have never really had strong or close relationships with people that aren't in my "life phase" (which I feel bad about). When I was a kid myself, I appreciated kids. When I was a teenager, I appreciated other teenagers (Though, as a whole? Probably not even then . . . Hardy har har! Take that, teenagers!) Since I've become an "adult"? Not really. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around children (and very old people, too). I don't know how to talk to them or love them.

Ergo . . .

office dilemma

2011-07-19T11:46:00.003-06:00

I have a dilemma.

Option A: Be distracted by talking coworkers and eavesdrop on office conversations.

Option B: Put my headphones in and listen to something.

I don't really want to listen to anything, because I get distracted sometimes by what I'm listening to. (Most of the time music is fine, but I don't always want to listen to music.) If I listen to the news or an audio book, I end up not being able to pay enough attention to really comprehend anything, even if the task I'm working on is fairly brainless. Maybe for the same reason, I have a hard time devoting enough attention when I am at work to reading something that demands lengthy periods of concentration.

very carefully

2011-07-13T13:28:00.003-06:00

I was at Costco the other day (surprise!) and overheard a guy in line asking another guy in line (I'm assuming they were acquainted), "How are they going to ring this up?"

The other guy said "Very carefully . . ."

Don't you hate it when people say that? Completely unhelpful. And maybe untrue.

broken chair

2011-07-10T10:40:00.002-06:00

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

"Good" strawberries

2011-07-10T10:36:00.002-06:00

You can't really see it on the $1.78 strawberries, but on that sign and the other signs for produce, there is a 4-digit code. On the half-flat, the code says "GOOD." So it must be true.

grocery comparison, round 2

2011-07-08T08:59:00.004-06:00

Here we go with another round of grocery comparisons. In this round, a new contender has entered: Walmart.

Although I imagine they may vary quite significantly from time to time, these prices do not reflect any promotions or sales. Values are expressed in US dollars and measured by ounces. Quality, item size, and brand names were not considered in the comparison.

	Walmart	Costco	Winco
all purpose flour	.024/oz	.018/oz (50-lb)	.026/oz
wheat flour	.028/oz	n/a	.030/oz
sugar	.035/oz	.038/oz	.035/oz
brown sugar	.044/oz	.052/oz	.048/oz
maple syrup	.478/oz	.431/oz	.616/oz
molasses	.173/oz	n/a	.180/oz
honey	.196/oz	.146/oz	.140/oz
oats	.059/oz	.043/oz	.037/oz
toasted oat cereal/Cheerios	.132/oz	.133/oz	.111/oz
chocolate chips (semi-sweet)	.211/oz	.136/oz	.142/oz
dried cranberries	?	.156/oz	.229/oz
cinnamon	.523/oz	.248/oz	.139/oz
applesauce	.035/oz	.047/oz	.042/oz
olive oil	.206/oz	.163/oz	.158/oz
canola oil	.058/oz	.056/oz	.049/oz
brown rice	.043/oz	.068/oz	.038/oz
white rice	.039/oz	.022/oz	.031/oz
wheat spaghetti	.075/oz	.070/oz	.063/oz
quinoa	?	.155/oz	.220/oz
garbanzo beans/chickpeas (dry)	.089/oz	n/a	.066/oz
black beans (dry)	.057/oz	n/a	.056/oz
pinto beans (dry)	.047/oz	.035/oz	.043/oz
lentils (dry)	.058/oz	n/a	.054/oz
coconut milk	.104/oz	n/a	.159/oz
soy milk	.039/oz	.033/oz	.040/oz
pecans	.623/oz	.469/oz	.598/oz
almonds	.565/oz	.204/oz	.211/oz
walnuts	.313/oz	.291/oz	.313/oz
pine nuts	1.51/oz	?	1.134/oz
almond butter	?	.219/oz	.264/oz
peanut butter	.073/oz	.154/oz	.111/oz
tortilla chips	.167/oz	.079/oz	.065/oz
corn tortillas	.036/oz	?	.033/oz
flour tortillas	.125/oz	?	.063/oz
tomato sauce	.035/oz	.039/oz	.032/oz
tomato paste	.067/oz	.083/oz	.065/oz
diced tomatoes	.043/oz	.066/oz	.040/oz
butter	.186/oz	.154/oz	.186/oz
milk	.018/oz	.016/oz	.018/oz
eggs	1.00/dozen (lg)	1.13/dozen (xl)	1.10/dozen (lg)
cheddar cheese	.250/oz	.156/oz	.196/oz
orange juice (fresh squeezed)	.051/oz	.047/oz	.044/oz
apple juice	.026/oz	.035/oz	.030/oz
bananas	.033/oz	.031/oz	.033/oz
carrots	.046/oz	.036/oz (10 lb)	.031/oz (5-lb)
celery	.071/oz	.074/oz	.036/oz
gala apples	.059/oz	.083/oz	?
red potatoes	.055/oz	.034/oz	.049/oz
yellow onions	.029/oz	.031/oz	.049/oz
spinach	?	.100/oz	.330/oz
minced garlic	.149/oz	.104/oz	.124/oz
frozen fruit blend	.122/oz	.090/oz	.273/oz
frozen peas	.061/oz	.059/oz	.053/oz
frozen corn	.061/oz	.049/oz	.053/oz
frozen chicken	.145/oz	.130/oz	.162/oz

Another note: I inserted the question mark when I couldn't find the item or was too lazy to go back and look. N/A indicates the item is not carried.

speaking of maps

2011-07-07T14:44:00.002-06:00

The other day Tim and I were in the car when we saw something like this:

Yes. We saw a Google Street View car! Awesome, right? I keep checking the street view for that intersection we were at and don't see us yet. (Joke.)

But seriously, it felt like a celebrity sighting.

map-making/art-making, whatever you call it . . .

2011-07-07T14:06:00.007-06:00

. . . probably shouldn't be my future profession.

Proof:

I always find it difficult to explain to people who haven't been to our apartment where they should park because there is designated visitor parking and it's a bit sparse. So here's my solution. Which is no solution at all.

I wrote out some contextual information, though, so perhaps you could consider this "piece" (if I call it a "piece," it's art) deep and meaningful that way.

If you as the viewer understood the context, this would make perfect sense to you. I guess maps and art are different. This image doesn't qualify as either.

two spaces

2011-06-30T14:40:00.002-06:00

Lately I've been finding myself peeved by seeing two spaces after periods or other sentence-ending punctuation marks instead of one. I'm not really sure why. It's not technically incorrect or anything, but still . . . (If you're interested in the issue, Wikipedia's article is pretty thorough.)

How about you? Any pet peeves showing their pesky little heads lately?

music revelation

2011-06-30T12:16:00.004-06:00

Tim read my most recent blog post (the one where I posted "Can't Get It Right Today" by Joe Purdy) and told me he finds that song annoying. Rude!

I laughed.

Back in the day, our differing tastes in music and methods of listening to music (for example, Tim is an album boy, and I am a song girl. Has anyone else discovered this distinction? Is there a name for it?) used to be a real source of tension between us. I used to complain often that Tim was elitist.

Since then, we have taken pleasure from many of our commonalities in music listening. Music tastes, thank goodness, change somewhat from time to time. (I'm honestly shamed now by some of the stuff I used to listen to, but not all of it was bad.) My tastes have certainly been molded by Tim. And to some degree, we have agreed to disagree (-gree -gree -gree). On Tuesday when we were driving back from Sacramento, he even allowed me to control the iPod. What progress! (Though you can bet it was a new artist for each song. Song girl = mix tape.)

I now leave you with another song (via YouTube). This one I discovered and enjoyed back in the "downloading heyday" (2005-2006), a.k.a. the period of musical awakening when my song library was growing exponentially. I still like this particular song.

Can't Get it Right

2011-06-17T15:56:00.001-06:00

I felt like this yesterday. Thanks, Sarah, for introducing me to Purdy and this purdy, relatable song.

sleep is important to me

2011-06-16T09:28:00.002-06:00

I don't know how you people wake up in the morning when you haven't had approximately 8 hours of sleep. Can't do it.

phantom phone

2011-06-14T17:27:00.004-06:00

I forgot my phone when I left for work today. When I got home 10 hours later, I saw that I hadn't missed anything. I admit, I was a little crestfallen.

It's funny how when I don't have my phone, I care that no one tried to contact me. It's the same story when my phone and I are not separated (i.e., no one tries to contact me), but it's not as disappointing somehow.

scenic world

2011-06-09T11:34:00.000-06:00

I really love, love, love Beirut.

shape-up

2011-06-07T15:25:00.005-06:00

Have any of you gotten a load of these?

I'm not sure I really get the whole "work out without working out!" concept behind these shoes. Smells like a scam. If I wore these shoes every day, would I get a six-pack (they claim to tighten abdominal muscles!)? As beautiful as my abdomen might be if I did, I don't think I'd ever wear them anyway. I guess I'll have to start doing sit ups now. Actually, who am I fooling? I don't care that much about having a beautiful six-pack set of abs.

just a thought

2011-06-03T13:58:00.001-06:00

Cubicles are so unfriendly to humans.

I ♥ Rancho

2011-05-25T11:26:00.004-06:00

I pretty much love Rancho Market. Rancho has been around a few years and they have several locations scattered throughout Utah (most of them are in West Salt Lake). I first started shopping there in Provo because the ads came in the mail and I couldn't resist the call of cheap, cheap.

Every experience there is a slightly uncomfortable one. The stores are cramped and usually kind of dirty. They always smell kind of funky. Spanish music blares from the speakers. Practically everyone is Hispanic and speaks Spanish. They sell weird things. Some of the things they sell seem to be labeled only in Spanish and are completely unidentifiable to me.

Their meat counter is probably the most unsavory to white middle-class sensibilities. It's all very open and unpackaged and they sell crazy stuff. It reminds me of that time I went to an outdoor market with my host dad in Russia and it was like going to an actual butcher (which I have never done). That sort of thing happens behind closed doors around here. At this market in Russia, though, they had this huge circular wooden block there where they were just chopping all kinds of meat with the same hatchet and had stuff hanging out all over the place. Despite its similarities (chicken feet just chillaxin', for example) and suspect hygiene, I braved the Rancho meat counter once and bought a pork roast. There was a lot of pointing because the guy helping me didn't understand much, if any, English. But it was successful, and best of all, it didn't kill anyone. In fact, it was good.

But that may not surprise you, because if you know me, you know that my food hygiene is suspect anyway. (Maybe personal hygiene, too, but that's a subject for another post.) It may surprise you, though, to know that I once had a food handler's permit. I definitely don't uphold those standards in my household, but when cooking for other people, I try harder to avoid throwing things that fall on the floor back into the pot or stirring a pot with a spoon I've already licked 500 million times. (I do clean my floors with bleach water more often than anyone I know, though. My cleaning habits are somewhat anal, actually, which seems ironic.)

Anyway, it's interesting becoming a minority when I shop at Rancho. Usually there are people congregated outside in the parking lot, sometimes blaring music from their cars. I don't like to go there after dark, actually, because it kind of scares me.

But oh my goodness, do they have cheap food. It's glorious.

so I'm graduated . . . now what?

2011-05-03T12:36:00.004-06:00

I must be doing a blog series on this topic. Weird.

I have had a few conversations with friends, etc., lately about going "off the grid" and living a life of farming and husbandry, or some other self-subsisting occupation. Doesn't that sound so idyllic? Sadly, it's probably not very feasible for a lot of people.

It begs the question, though, if modern careers in general have the possibility to be very satisfying. It seems like higher education is very career-oriented and I worry about that. What do you think? As Tim said the other day, a lot of people must be living for the weekend.

In my search for an "occupation," I feel like I have three options: find a more satisfying job, bear progeny, or go back to school.

nostalgia

2011-04-26T10:24:00.002-06:00

I'm feeling very nostalgic for school right now. This is a bit unusual for me. Certainly I've missed college in many ways. I feel like I had a lot more going on then, and my world felt bigger. It was nice to be busy and to be actively progressing toward a goal. I've been bored a lot since and have often felt stagnant.

It's the academic side of college, the knowledge acquisition, that I haven't pined for, exactly. I didn't particularly enjoy many of my classes the last year or so of my undergrad, and I wish I could go back and redo some of it. I was taking the classes that would fill the requirements for my degree without much consideration, and I anticipated finishing in a timely manner (at the time it seemed important to me, but now it seems like graduating is overrated unless you have something to move on to immediately afterward).

I did really enjoy some of my classes, especially the ones I took at the beginning of my major. But later on, I took some that I didn't enjoy and didn't do that well in. I graduated feeling disillusioned about my college experience. I lost a bit of my faith in the goodness of learning. I felt like all I had learned was how to get by not doing everything I was supposed to.

Now, after two full years of being out of school, I'm feeling this sense of nostalgia and remembering the academic portion of college somewhat positively. I think that means I'm recovering a bit from my disillusionment. Maybe I'll even go back to school . . . someday.

For those of you who are done with school, what was your transition to the "real world" like? What do you feel like you learned most from your college experience?

i bought glasses online

2011-04-22T19:28:00.006-06:00

It was a leap of faith, but I'm satisfied with the result. And I'm definitely okay with paying 20 dollars for a complete set of glasses, frames and lenses.

The website lets you "try them on" virtually before you buy. Here's what I was going off of:

And here's the real thing:

Not bad, right? They seem pretty comparable to other glasses that I have had initially. Just got them in the mail today.

desperate for chapstick

2011-04-20T14:29:00.002-06:00

Seriously, why don't I just throw this thing of chapstick away? Goodness knows I have like 50 others (not all of which are so depleted, either).

economic insecurity

2011-04-20T14:03:00.005-06:00

I don't really know how I feel about tax cuts for the wealthy, not really because of any strong leftist political views, but I just feel like those who have enough money to not have to worry about money (my definition of "economic security," which this article says you need about $68,000 a year to achieve for a family of four) don't really need more.

The estimate of $68,000 a year seemed pretty reasonable, and it kind of freaked me out because Tim and I might be poor for a long time (hello, long-term students). Oh yeah, and wage increases aren't really keeping up with inflation either (hello, crappy economy and oil crisis). What's the opposite of economic security? Oh yeah. Hello, economic insecurity.

I heard someone or other (a Republican senator maybe?) talking on the radio a while ago saying that the wealthiest 2 percent in America deserve tax cuts because in order to be wealthy in America, you have to work really hard. Also, tax cuts for the wealthy translates into more jobs, which translates into better economy for everyone! I don't know if I can get past the generalization that those who are wealthy work hard to get there. It doesn't seem like a fair claim. There are a lot of people who work hard and don't get wealthy, too. I don't really think wealth is always merit-based, though I'm sure there are plenty of wealthy people who deserve it and use it to benefit other people besides themselves and their families.

I think most people deserve economic security. Not enough people have this right. It'd also be nice (though it's probably a privilege, not a right) to be able to afford "middle-class amenities such as vacations, dinners at restaurants, flat-screen TVs, cable subscriptions, movie tickets or other entertainment." (That quote comes from the article linked above, "Beyond 'Surviving': Defining Economic Security.")

Anyway, even though I am constantly worried about money, things always seems to work out okay in the end, and for that I'm grateful.

phone woes

2011-04-11T09:18:00.003-06:00

I really need to update contact information in my phone. Especially for Husband Tim: I have two numbers that are no longer valid saved under his name. One of them is a work phone number for a job he hasn't been at for almost a year. Another is his cell phone number. He hasn't had a cell phone now for a few months. I really should stop calling it "his," because I just found out last week it belongs to someone else.

I accidentally sent a text to that number instead of the number associated with Tim's Gmail account. It said the following:

"Is it bad that i steal feminine products from the bathroom on the second floor whenever i need them? i don't even attempt to bring them from home"

The reply was something like this:

"Sorry, same number but new person. I don't know you"

(Sadly, I deleted the message from my phone so this is not verbatim.)

bigger than me

2011-04-11T09:11:00.003-06:00

Contributing just $5 to the relief effort for Japan gives me a good feeling. I just looked at http://livingsocial.com/redcross and saw that over $2 million was raised. It makes me feel like I'm part of something bigger than myself. I love being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for that reason.

seize and desist

2011-04-05T11:40:00.002-06:00

Today I was editing something and saw the word cease used incorrectly. I looked at it for a full minute and looked it up on m-w.com before I realized what it should be: seize. I seriously thought, "Is there a sense of the word cease that means this? Maybe it's one of those words like cleave, peruse . . . " (you know, auto-antonyms, contronyms, antagonyms; whatever you want to call them, they're kind of interesting).

initials

2011-03-31T11:32:00.001-06:00

Wouldn't it be cool if the initials for my first and middle name were J and K?

J.K. Rowan

Rowan, J.K.

the view

2011-03-31T09:02:00.003-06:00

They had window washers cleaning the windows of the office building I work in the other day. It was really loud. They rapelled down over the edge and had huge suction cups attaching themselves to the window. They had to hit the suction cups hard against the glass to attach themselves, which was why it was so loud.

But despite being distracted, once they finally cleaned the window I sit in front of, I was happy because now I can see the outside better. (This is my favorite part of my new desk.) It gets really hot when the sun is out and it's kind of hard to see my computer screen. But I do not want to close the blinds.

smell sense

2011-03-30T13:22:00.003-06:00

The game "Identify the Smell" was played in the break room during my lunch break. First, someone stopped in to get water and said it smelled like Fig Newtons. The second person who walked in said it was like "burnt sweetness," or maybe "burnt sweet nuts"? Not sure exactly.

I had been sitting in there, so I didn't smell anything. It's kind of a curse and a blessing that after you're used to it, you don't even notice funky smells anymore.

This is living in Utah . . .

2011-03-23T12:39:00.007-06:00

. . . at the Timberlodge Collection! (This jingle comes to my brain every time I think of the phrase "living in Utah." Without fail.)

In my adult life, except for the 5-month stint where I lived in Moscow, Russia (which doesn't really seem to count, oddly), I have never lived outside of Utah. My family moved around the country a bit until the summer of 1996, when we moved to Utah. We still moved around after that, but stayed in the Layton area.

Maybe this is silly, but lately I feel like I'm missing out on something by not having had experience living elsewhere. It seems like a lot of people go live different places for different reasons, be it for school, internship, work, study abroad, etc. Not us. Living in Moscow didn't count partially because I wasn't married, and having this experience of living somewhere other than Utah with a husband somehow makes it more valid or real. At least for now, Tim and I are schooling and working (respectively) in the Salt Lake area.

I have to wonder, would my life be much different if I did live somewhere else? I guess it depends on what I would be doing. Utah has many unique, interesting things. And people. I should maybe get involved more.

Japan relief

2011-03-18T13:57:00.004-06:00

I got a Groupon-type deal of a different nature yesterday. Living Social is matching donations to the Red Cross for Japan relief efforts. Donate $5 and they'll give $10. Cool, no? Donate here.

I also just read that electricity has been restored to the Fukushima nuclear power plant. Hopefully that means the end of the nuclear crisis is near.

God bless Japan.

gonna get my hairs cut

2011-03-17T18:40:00.004-06:00

I am blogging a lot today. Here and there.

Probably because I deactivated my Facebook account temporarily. The blog world fills the void inside.

Today some girls at work were talking about what a difference it makes to get a really good haircut. This has come up more than once, actually. I haven't experienced that in quite some time. I've been going to hair schools for the past several years, and I am starting to question how worth it this is. (I am not always wise with money, though I am rather frugal.) I always come away from hair school experiences with some amount of frustration. They take an insanely long time, the cut is usually mediocre, if not disastrous, etc.

That conversation at work was compelling. I called a salon to make a hair appointment. Here's to splurging on the nice things in life! I hope my wild dreams come true and I will come away from this with a haircut that is good. I don't have any idea what I want. Maybe I'll just go in and say "I don't care what you do to my hair, as long as it comes out feeling good in the end." Does that work?

on that note

2011-03-17T15:18:00.002-06:00

I'm still thinking about food and bathrooms. Do you get grossed out by talk of bodily functions when you are eating? I don't particularly, but I know a lot of people do. What's behind this (no pun intended)?

public restrooms

2011-03-17T13:58:00.004-06:00

The other day at work someone brought their food into the restroom. It was gross. Maybe she was taking her food somewhere to eat it and had a bowel attack suddenly, so I don't want to judge or anything . . . but . . .

On that note, I don't like the restrooms at work much. There are only three stalls. Too few to be anonymous. I think anonymity is important in public restrooms.

On that note again, remember the bathrooms at BYU with sitting areas off to the side? The one on the fourth floor in the library always had girls snoozing in it. It always seemed like a slightly weird place to nap. I guess they were comfortable chairs/couches . . . but . . .

scanning

2011-03-07T14:28:00.004-07:00

I spent a lot of time scanning for Tim this weekend. It was awesome.

We first tried going to Meredith's to use her scanner, but Tim was having issues hooking it up to his computer. Then we went to the University of Utah library. I was thinking of the copy machines at BYU's library where you can e-mail scans, but apparently the copiers at the U library didn't have this functionality. What the what? Also, the library closed at 8 pm. What the what what? You mean people don't even have the option to spend their weekend evenings at the library on campus (where I could often be found) until midnight?

I slowly made my way through the book using a noisy Epson scanner until they kicked us out.

Then I remembered the copy machines at work! So on Saturday morning, to the office we went. Once I figured out how to use the machine, it was a dream. There were a few hiccups along the way, though. One of them involved sending a scan to one of the employees in HR and myself.

Oops.

score

2011-03-01T10:10:00.001-07:00

Chef Bernhard sent the granola recipe. I couldn't be happier.

road rage

2011-02-28T09:48:00.006-07:00

I have a problem. I have become one of those people. You know, someone who thinks teens are selfish idiots and wonders what is happening with kids these days.

I certainly was never like that. I'm still not . . .

Observe:

(click to enlarge)

This is a (loose) representation of me driving to work in the morning. Usually I get to this intersection when the cross-street has a green light. I stop and glance to my left, eyeing the horde of teens on the corner. It's like I'm hunched over at the opening lines of a track race, scowling at my competitors.

I don't know what that is like because I'm not an athlete, but I have seen movies.

The light turns green, and I get a green arrow to turn left.

BUT NO!!!!!! Thwarted! The gaggle of children begins their trek across the street, thinking that because the light is green, they can walk.

"I have the right of way, children!" I scream in frustration. (No matter that I am less than ten years older than some of these kidlets, I'll still call them "children." Who am I?)

I think I need to start taking a different route to work in the mornings. This scenario fills me with homicidal thoughts every morning.

granola

2011-02-17T11:07:00.003-07:00

Last week at work we had a week of academic meetings. I just transferred to a new department, so I got to go this time (in the past, I haven't gone to anything except the all-staff dinner). During these meetings, they fly in almost all the remote employees (of which there are many). It's kind of ridiculously extravagant. I imagine they spend hundreds of thousands of dollars providing transportation, room, board, renting out the hotel for the meetings, and who knows what else. Just give us all a small raise and I'd be satisfied. But whatev. I guess I'll take what I can get.

So, during these meetings, they provided three meals a day. I didn't go to all the meals because I didn't want to spend 24 hours a day (that's hyperbolic) at the Little America hotel, the food wasn't that good (I'm convinced that it is nigh impossible to feed a lot of people all at once and have it all turn out really well), and because Tim couldn't come with me (boohoo). I did consider sneaking him in on several occasions. It was such a large event that I'm sure it would have gone completely unnoticed. He could have pretended he was a student mentor for the IT program or something and no one would have asked any questions.

On that note, maybe hanging out at hotels could be rewarding. You might be able to get a lot of free stuff unnoticed.

Anyway, the point of all of this is to say that I did eat some granola at breakfast one day and it was amazing. The perfect granola. I'm pretty sure it was homemade (it appeared to be, anyway), and I just want to know how I can get my hands on it so I can have it everyday for the rest of eternity.

Do you think if I called the hotel and asked for the recipe, they would tell me?

an obligatory post

2011-02-14T14:43:00.005-07:00

Even though Valentine's Day doesn't make me feel lonely anymore because I am now a married woman, I still am not a huge fan of the holiday.

Because it is so commercialized, it seems to still have an ostracizing effect for many, like people who aren't romantically involved, or those who don't have much of a disposable income to spend on their loved one. Some would argue that the holiday can be broader, too, which is great, but you can't avoid thinking about it mainly as a day celebrating romantic love. (Maybe just out of tradition? Wikipedia tells me that it's been this way since the 14th century.)

There are certain elements of the holiday I like, and I like how people get creative with it. (Kate Spade's e-cards, for example, are very fun, I must agree.) And I know even if you lack a disposable income, you can still have fun with it. (The e-cards are free! Yeasayer is offering a free EP!)

Honestly, I could probably use some festivity, stop being lame, and get on the holiday train. I should have fun with holidays more. I don't do much. For this and other reasons, I worry that my kids will hate me. Maybe when I have kids, I'll be more interested in making big deals out of things like holidays, birthdays, and other random days of the year (for no apparent reason). For now, it doesn't really appeal to me.

In that vein, I'm giving Tim time (Tim time, haha) to spend with his other lover: homework. I've asked Meredith to be my valentine in his place. (She accepted. Yesssss!!)

Foam Soap

2011-01-26T12:02:00.001-07:00

I'd like to know the psychology behind foaming cleansers. This has been on my mind a lot lately. Do we imagine that things are getting cleaner when we put foamy stuff on them?

what happens when I'm not noticing?

2011-01-26T09:32:00.003-07:00

Sometimes I notice random things, sometimes I don't.

Yesterday I noticed two random things:

For the second day in a row, I was driving to work alongside a girl who lives in my apartments and whom I saw at church on Sunday. She works near where I work, and lives near where I live.
For the second day in a row, I saw the same man at 7-11 using a pay phone. The first time I saw him, I said to Tim, "Look at that guy talking on the pay phone. Who uses pay phones these days?" I saw him again at the same 7-11 talking on the same phone.

random thought #2, welcome to blog

2011-01-19T15:22:00.002-07:00

I worked as a secretary in the English Composition Office at BYU a few years ago, and while I was there, I was commissioned to develop a library. We had a whole bunch of books, I don't even know where they all came from, but they were available for the graduate instructors to borrow and use for their classes. I've forgotten mainly everything about this, but I remember thinking it was fun to develop this library system (cataloging and labeling all the books mostly), but also really hard. I had no idea what I was doing, and was largely unsuccessful in the venture. I wonder what the state of that "library" is now . . .

I still have a persistent interest in becoming some sort of librarian, and still have very little idea about what it entails. What I do know about it sounds right up my alley, though.

art appreciation

2011-01-19T15:11:00.002-07:00

How can I appreciate art (I'm talking about art in the sense of visual artwork here) at my level? I don't have the context for the method, theory, or history. So when I go to a museum or gallery and see something on display, how do I get something out of it? My experience at a lot of museums/galleries/places where art is presented is a little bit like this: Look at piece for five seconds, think "That looks cool," or maybe "That's weird," or "I don't get it," and then move on to next piece. Then I forget about everything I saw.

snowshoeing

2011-01-18T14:17:00.004-07:00

The more environmentally friendly OS

2011-01-11T15:40:00.002-07:00

Is there any reason that the temporary storage "receptacle" for deleted files is called a recycle bin on PCs? Are we supposed to believe that Microsoft is more environmentally friendly than Apple?

Although Apple's corresponding functionality is called "Trash," the company takes its name from something that grows in the earth. What's more environmentally friendly than that?

Help Dylan

2011-01-03T13:34:00.004-07:00

My good friend Kirsten and her husband are doing a fundraiser for their nephew, Dylan, who has an unfortunate medical condition that requires special treatment. His family can't quite afford everything on their own and need some help.

Tim and I are fairly strapped for cash these days, so we didn't donate much, but it feels good to do a little bit. I am amazed at how much has been raised already. They only started this fundraiser about a month ago and are already more than halfway toward their goal of $8000. People are so generous.

Kirsten and Sead have a PayPal account set up, so it's pretty easy to donate. Here's the address for the blog where you can find more information and a link to donate: http://dylanfund.blogspot.com/

Possibly the worst greeting card ever

2010-12-14T15:00:00.002-07:00

Greeting cards are pretty bad, usually. But this just might be the worst:

Created by yours truly.

professional cleaner, professional editor

2010-12-08T14:46:00.009-07:00

You know how communal spaces don't stay clean? (Think of the apartment you shared with five strangers. Now think of the kitchen. I think you know what I mean.) No one is willing to take responsibility for the upkeep of those sorts of spaces, unless they're getting paid.

Call me a neat freak, call me OCD. Call me what you will. (If that thing you call me is mean, though, please don't tell it to my face.) I admit that I am frequently the one who takes the responsibility for maintaining cleanliness of shared spaces. My roommates loved me! I often cleaned the kitchen, the living room, and my room (which was always shared).

Former roommates, back me up on this.

I love having my own place now where there are no neglected communal spaces. But at work, the communal space problem is ever-present. There are plenty of neglected areas around the office. And I have been known from time to time to be the one who cleans those areas.

Consider the following:

An "award" given to me at a work retreat:

An old Facebook status update:

So yesterday, we got a memo saying that the services of professional cleaners have been secured to clean the break rooms weekly.

I fully support this, but I seriously want to submit an application to the VP of HR, who wrote the memo, for this job. In my cover letter, I might say, "I've cleaned the break room on my floor from time to time. Please consider contributing the money you might devote to a professional cleaning service instead to an increase in my salary, and I will then consider adding weekly break room cleaning to my job responsibilities. Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from you!"

incredible employees deserve Mickey D's

2010-12-08T08:25:00.005-07:00

In our department at work, they asked for nominations for "incredible employees" as part of an initiative to make this place a great place to work. A nice coworker anonymously nominated me and I was selected.

(I think they really didn't have a whole lot of nominations. I know I sure didn't nominate anyone out of laziness/forgetfulness. So it probably wasn't much of a competition, but it was exciting anyway. I win!!!!!!!)

I was informed I would be getting a small reward shortly after the meeting in which these "incredible employees" were recognized. The e-mail was to make sure the addresses they had on file for us were correct.

Yesterday was a momentous day. The reward came in the mail. (I win!!!!!!) Tim called me up and told me about it. He read me the letter, and then he told me what the reward was.

"I've been waiting since Friday to know what this is!" I said.

"It's a $15 McDonald's gift card!" he replied.

Awesome.

P.S. The last time I ate at McDonald's was on October 13. I remember the day clearly. I was driving back from Boise, Idaho (by myself), and was famished. I stopped in Burley and ordered a McChicken and small fries. Even though the meal cost $2.13, it wasn't worth it. My stomach was having issues the remainder of my drive home. I just can't handle processed foods that well, and if you thought I was a snob about food, that might be part of the reason. Also, I'm kind of a snob about food.

Thanksgiving 2010

2010-12-07T15:45:00.005-07:00

I really love that I got two days of vacation for . . . what? A holiday devoted to food? Yes, please! (And I'm convinced that the meaning of the Thanksgiving holiday goes no further, as shameful as it is.) I'm a big fan of food, generally. If I were to make a menu for my own food-related holiday, though, it would not involve traditional Thanksgiving fare. Just saying.

Dennis Peacock

2010-12-02T15:07:00.001-07:00

I just think this is really funny because the quote is attributed. So every time someone says "life is good," if they're not saying "Dennis Peacock said that," then they're totally plagiarizing.

Am I right?

1:01

2010-11-30T09:27:00.002-07:00

Last night I was setting the alarm clock. After I had done so, I looked at the clock and it said 1:01. "One-oh-one? Countdown? Is that like a time? What?" I thought. I guess I was pretty tired. And I'm pretty sure that I have not been up that late since who knows when.

and she opined

2010-11-19T11:56:00.003-07:00

Such shifts in meaning based on an initial misunderstanding are common as the language evolves. Sometimes the derived use becomes so widespread and accepted that it’s pedantic and pointless to insist on only the original sense. For instance, not long ago we dropped our stylebook’s longtime admonition against using “careen” — rather than “career” — in the sense of “lurch along wildly at high speed.” The original distinction had eroded so completely that there was little to gain in clinging to it.

(via)

Call me a language purist, but I dislike the trend in usage where misconceptions about language become acceptable just because a lot of people have the misconception. (By the way, I have never heard of that definition for the word career.)

In any case, I feel like when you're just giving words these meanings that are very similar to other words, it just makes language more muddled and imprecise.

Why do we need to define bemused as "to cause to have feelings of wry or tolerant amusement" when we can use the word amused for that? (P.S. I got that definition from m-w.com's entry for the word bemused.) Just because people are confused and cannot very well distinguish these words in their minds (me included, I'll be honest) doesn't mean language should lose the distinction too.

cheap gas fail

2010-11-10T09:01:00.005-07:00

I get these alerts from BillShrink about cheap gas. It's kind of cool because it tells you where the cheapest gas is and also calculates the cost of the detour from your house or work or wherever. I have not really used it that much, but I got an alert in my e-mail on Monday. It said the cheapest gas was $2.53 a gallon at a station in West Valley. I'm thinking, "Wow, that price is almost a full 20 cents cheaper than everywhere else right now!" The only problem is that this particular gas station is about 15 miles away from home.

On Tuesday, I was with my friend Meredith. We went grocery shopping at WinCo (which is significantly closer to said gas station, but getting gas there would still be a big detour). Meredith was driving, and I told her that there was gas for $2.53 and "we have to go and get really cheap gas and save lots of money!"

When we finally arrived at said gas station we pulled in and saw the price: $2.70 per gallon. THE EXACT SAME AS EVERYWHERE ELSE.

Post-publication addendum: Meredith tells me that it was $2.72/gallon. I consulted BillShrink to find the updated price on Wednesday and it said $2.70/gallon. BillShrink lies!

I just got my nails done. So I really shouldn't be typing this at all.

2010-11-10T08:08:00.004-07:00

This morning a really friendly middle-aged lady who works in my building got here around the same time I did. She came in the same entrance a little before I did and she pressed the button, you know, the one for people in wheelchairs, so that the two doors would open automatically.

She said "I just had my nails done so I can't open doors!"

At the elevators, she pressed the button and stood there with her hands splayed, examining her hot-pink fingernails (I really wish I knew an alternative, awesome word for nails right now) and saying again "I just had my nails done. They're still a little . . . tacky." I think she meant that they were tacky in the sense that they were sticky. But I agreed they were tacky. In the sense of, this woman has a complete lack of good breeding (merriam-webster.com consultation).

But guys, she was friendly. Here she is chatting me up about her nails and she warned me in the elevator that it's slated to snow today, and said good morning when she was walking in the doors to the building, and "have a good day" when she got off the elevator before me (on the third floor). She also told me about how she was relieved her tights were the right color to coordinate with her outfit because she's grabbed the wrong ones before.

But all I could think about her was things like "I wonder if she'll be incapacitated at work today because of her nails," and "Did she go get her nails done at 6 this morning?" and "Ridiculous." I was judging her harshly.

Here's the kicker, though: I totally use that automatic door opening button when I walk into work. I don't even have a good excuse like this woman does. I'm just WAY lazy.

cheese juice

2010-11-09T14:02:00.003-07:00

You know when you have string cheese and you take it out of the fridge and the texture gets kind of weird and it's not quite as stringy? And it starts getting slimy on the outside?

This happens to you, right?

I know it happens to me, so when I brought string cheese to work today, I told myself to refrigerate it. But it never happened.

And then I foolishly tried to eat said string cheese in the car on my way back to work from lunch, and you know what happened? Cheese juice leaked all over my pants.

I wasn't quite sure what to do about it but I ruled out visiting the bathroom in an attempt to wash it off because I figured I can avoid other people for the remaining two hours I have left at work, and I would rather avoid looking like I have just wet my pants.

I am pretty sure this was the right decision.

Are you a parent?

2010-11-03T13:52:00.002-06:00

So my friend Britney issued a call for responses on her blog about the question of marriage. i.e., She wanted her blog readership to respond to the question, "Why get married anyway?"

Her blog post inspired me to do something similar. My question is a bit different: Why reproduce?

I am interested in people's thoughts about their personal reasons for having kids. Hit me.

the travesty

2010-10-27T09:54:00.005-06:00

Alright Costco, I don't know why you're selling caskets in the first place, but "The Mother Casket"?

For shame. I do understand that there is the word Mother embroidered on the casket, and the name seems obvious, but let's think about this a little more.

Furthermore, the interior description says "Nude crepe."

Right after it says this:

THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC OR OTHER EVIDENCE THAT ANY CASKET WITH A SEALING DEVICE WILL PRESERVE HUMAN REMAINS

(In all caps because Costco wants to ensure they are not held liable for decomposition of loved ones' bodies.)

Maybe this blog post is in poor taste, but so is the name of this casket model, admittedly. It gets good ratings, though, which is saying something for Costco's online storefront, where reviews are hard to come by.

Also, when I'm dead, please don't spend a lot of money on my funeral and casket. That will be of no use to anyone.

another one of those posts

2010-10-20T14:19:00.002-06:00

I used to write in my journal a lot. I don't much anymore, and ever since I stopped writing consistently, I have mourned the fact that I don't. (Yet I haven't done anything about it.) I think it was important for me in many ways. Among them, it gave me a chance to work through my feelings and often, to bring a new perspective and understanding to those feelings and ideas. It gave me a chance to respond. To think about all of these stimuli that bombard me constantly.

The lessening of my journal writing seemed to correlate with the beginnings of a committed relationship (which resulted eventually in marriage; if you hadn't guessed, I'm talking about Husband). I wondered if the relationship between lack of journal writing and presence of commitment was meaningful beyond the correlation. I think in a way it is. This makes me feel a little better about not journal-writing these days. I have found a replacement, in a sense—a safe place to express myself.

It's sort of a trade-off though. Communication with a human being is dynamic and communication with a piece of paper (no audience intended) is not. I gain some love but I lose some understanding and perceived self-actualization in the process.

I haven't been reading Saussure (was I supposed to read him as a student of English language/linguistics during my undergrad career?), but Husband has, and from this secondhand reading, I interpret language as a means to thought. In fact, I've got a blog titled that (By the way, this blog is where I post poetry I write, which is another thing that I haven't done for quite some time—related?).

Meaning.

I find my thoughts in the expression of them.

I think Saussure might support this.

I cannot think of anything I love more than doing it (communication) well, or helping someone else do it well, or reading someone's words who has done it really well. It's why I love writing, editing, reading. When that understanding (that understanding: the understanding that goes, oddly, completely beyond language) is achieved between two minds, two souls—that is an incredibly beautiful moment. And nothing is more eminently frustrating than miscommunication, language failure, and disconnectedness.

I wish I could talk better with people and narrow the gap between souls more often through conversation. I am not very good at conversation. But when I feel like language is transcended and understanding is achieved between another person and me . . . well, the word that comes to mind is love, and that can be felt in so many ways.

Funny that this love is both found in and destroyed by language. One of my favorite songs by Modest Mouse is "Blame It on the Tetons," and there is a line in there that goes like this:

Language is the liquid
That we’re all dissolved in
Great for solving problems
After it creates the problem

I feel like language is a perfect analogy for life that way. So amazing and so imperfect and so inescapable.

in no particular order

2010-10-19T15:00:00.005-06:00

My coworker Margaret and I traded computers at work today for a little while. When I received my computer back, my desktop background was set to a slideshow of these lovelies:

(The file name for the above artistic masterpiece was "future.jpg.")

(Sorry for you single guys out there. Margaret is already hitched.)

how I feel

2010-10-13T14:47:00.003-06:00

I feel like this today. (The picture is accurate: I did wear my hair curly today. And it is shedding all over my black sweater.)

another post about grocery shopping

2010-09-27T11:47:00.004-06:00

This weekend I was really looking forward to going to Costco and Winco and doing a price comparison on some items I commonly buy (and especially those I sometimes get in bulk from Costco). It was the most exciting weekend activity EVER. (Nerdy, I know.)

Since I know you're all as interested as me, I shall tell you the results. I was somewhat surprised by my findings, perhaps naively so. I really love Winco's bulk foods section and love that you can get however much you want or need of whatever it is you want or need. And I have noted that the prices of the bulk items per pound are cheaper than other places I've seen items sold by weight. I'm less impressed when I compare other areas of the store, though; however, the sales are often pretty good. Most of the items I compared were items you could find in the Winco bulk foods section.

Costco's worthiness was demonstrated in the comparison. (The comparisons are not all fair, I should say. Costco has better quality goods, generally speaking, but I tried to match the products as closely as possible.) Here are the results:

Costco	item	Winco
1.08/lb	whole wheat spaghetti	.98/lb
1.06/lb	penne	.76/lb
1.96/lb	egg noodles	1.10/lb
2.22/lb (organic)	peanut butter	1.48/lb (non-organic, self-churned)
3.57/lb	almond butter	3.96/lb
1.66/gallon	milk	1.88/gallon
6.29/lb	pure maple syrup	8.85/lb
1.76/lb	semi-sweet chocolate chips	2.21/lb
2.33/lb	dried cranberries	3.67/lb
2.21/lb (name-brand)	honey nut cheerios	1.79/lb
.75/lb (organic)	apple sauce	.54/lb
1.16/lb	short-grain brown rice	.74/lb
.28/lb (for 25 lb bag)	long-grain white rice	.45/lb
2.50/lb	quinoa	3.52/lb
2.00/lb	honey	2.24/lb
.69/lb (10 lbs)	oats	.51/lb
4.22/gallon	soy milk	5.12/gallon
4.60/lb	walnuts	3.30/lb
5.28/lb	pecans	8.50/lb
3.33/lb	almonds	3.78/lb
.24/lb (for 25 lb bag)	all purpose flour	.27/lb
.61/lb	sugar	.46/lb
.81/lb	brown sugar	.97/lb
18.62/gallon	olive oil	28.62/gallon
5.96/gallon	vegetable oil	6.27/gallon
6.32/gallon	canola oil	7.18/gallon
.62/lb	tomato sauce	.80/lb
1.32/lb	tomato paste	1.68/lb
1.06/lb	diced tomatoes	1.02/lb

Some of the results were interesting. For example, although pecans and almonds are cheaper at Costco, walnuts are not. Pecans are significantly cheaper at Costco. Granulated sugar is quite a bit cheaper at Winco, and flour is comparable (I probably will still buy from Winco to avoid dealing with the 25 lb bag, though). I did not realize that canola oil is more expensive than vegetable oil. Brown rice is cheaper at Winco. Peanut butter is too, but almond butter is cheaper at Costco. I compared S&W canned garbanzo beans and black beans as well, and it turned out they were the same at both Costco and Winco: .68/can.

I hope you appreciated the results of my experiment. I guess shopping at Costco does save money after all. Which makes me feel a little better about paying to shop there? Hmm, I didn't factor that into the prices . . .

vacated houses

2010-09-14T11:00:00.006-06:00

(Disclaimer: I'm posting this on my personal blog in order to disassociate Tim from it. He takes no responsibility for the events narrated herein.)

First a little background:

Our current apartment is a basement apartment. When we moved in, the house above was being rented. We didn't get to know our upstairs neighbors a whole lot, partially because they were not letting the apartment. (That is to say: our landlord lives somewhere else.)

Recently, something strange happened, and the events still are shrouded in a cloud of mystery. There seemed to be intimations of an upcoming relocation in the house upstairs. This lasted a few days. (Glimpses of our neighbors with luggage, coming in and out of the house frequently, weekly yard sales, etc.) Then there were no people up there anymore, just things.

Around this same time, someone came by our apartment asking for the landlord's contact information. She said she was a friend of the family who had been renting the house and that there was a "family emergency" (one which demanded a sudden move, apparently), and she said that she needed to let the landlord know that they had moved out.

Being curious, we walked through the house. You would, too, wouldn't you? (Our tour was facilitated by a door in the basement that is broken and won't latch, let alone lock.) The house was a complete mess. I felt like we were walking through a house that had been vacated due to some sort of apocalyptic event that no one told us was happening. (Should we pick up and run, too? Were we in danger?) You know, take what you can carry and then leave the rest, and also maybe trash the rest of it, too, just for fun? There was spray paint in some areas of the house. Half-eaten cream pie was rotting in the kitchen, the garbage overflowing. It looked like the floors hadn't been cleaned in years. Ripped-out pages of a questionable magazine was lying about in one of the bedrooms. In another bedroom, marker writing appeared all over the walls.

The scariest thing, though, was this, which you see just as you open the broken door to enter the house:

What kind of sadistic decorations are these? SO CREEPY. (Or am I the creepy one? I'll let you be the judge.)

But there is a bright side to all of this. The landlord came with his family and extended family, prepared with a trailer and hundreds of large black garbage sacks, to remove most of the remaining junk. But not before I could score a decent vacuum off of our dear neighbors! This is actually the second time we scored off them, because a few weeks before, we'd bought a kitchen table set for $50 from them at a yard sale—no matter that we can't actually fit it in our apartment. (I think they'd want us to enjoy their vacuum. They seemed like nice people.)

Also, now that it's a lot less creepy to go in this vacant house, I've been doing laundry for free there. (Beats going to a laundromat. And no, the landlord doesn't know, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind, because he seems like a nice person. And yes, I'm a terrible person. But Tim isn't.)

The end.

NOTE: To the landlord or former renters of the house, if you happen to stumble on this obscure blog, I will relinquish the vacuum upon request.