tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post3034766914355286221..comments2023-07-21T03:49:30.877-06:00Comments on The perfect thought at the perfectly wrong time: adviceAmanda S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11252666997988047431noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-41781225915690188362014-12-10T13:42:09.614-07:002014-12-10T13:42:09.614-07:00Ack, typos. Sorry to artificially inflate your com...Ack, typos. Sorry to artificially inflate your comment count! <br /><br />I am really hoping the blog I am linking to right here: http://www.coffeeandcrumbs.net/blog/2014/12/9/hand-me-downs is not becoming stupidly old news, because I love it and read that post almost right after reading yours. <br /><br />I am with you on the lack of passion thing. I kind of believe that when I am passionate about something it means I have taken a very personal and private road to get there and that results in me feeling less likely to share ... <br /><br />I think this raising children thing is supposed to be unique for each of us. I think it is embracing that uniqueness that we stop feeling consumed or lost. I find a lot of reassurance in reminding myself that it is OK to be uncertain. It is OK to live with hard. I loved your post a little while back after reading All Joy and No Fun (I also, subsequently, loved the book). <br /><br />Based on what you write here it sounds like you are doing a hugely successful job being the mom Shep needs, and the great thing is that all the love and mettle you have built into yourself for him creates a foundation that kind of amazingly sets the place for the love and mettle that continues to build in raising two.Lauren Mchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12358671351648355712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-4711535422145647492014-12-10T13:38:15.619-07:002014-12-10T13:38:15.619-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Lauren Mchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12358671351648355712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-72503896987453098732014-12-10T13:37:18.445-07:002014-12-10T13:37:18.445-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Lauren Mchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12358671351648355712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-29997071110750761792014-12-10T09:24:19.431-07:002014-12-10T09:24:19.431-07:00Wow, that comment was LONG. Sorry.Wow, that comment was LONG. Sorry.Rachel // Maybe Matildahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17737624506695244343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-53592412686137597582014-12-10T09:24:06.401-07:002014-12-10T09:24:06.401-07:00I think my main issue with receiving parenting adv...I think my main issue with receiving parenting advice is that it is almost always so insultingly general and unhelpful. "Oh, give Shep a doll to prepare him for a baby!" It's just so woefully inadequate and obvious and NOT what it will be like to have a real baby in the house that it's almost embarrassing. I feel like most parenting advice is like that--so obvious, so general, and so unspecific to YOUR child that it's pretty much useless. Every child is so, so, SO incredibly different, that one parent's sworn-by advice that worked perfectly for their child is often completely worthless when applied to someone else's child. (Is it obvious that I get a little annoyed by being offered parenting advice?)<br /><br />And I can totally relate to you in feeling like you don't have the confidence/passion behind your decisions. I really feel the same way about my own parenting--most of the things I do with my kids, I do because they are the easiest or simplest or most obvious things to do, not because I have some deeply-held belief motivating it. I'm not sure this is a bad thing, though. If it makes any difference, I generally find it really, really unpleasant to talk to those moms who DO have a ton of confidence/passion behind their parenting, because it so often comes across as condescending and judgmental toward the parents who do things differently. When we were at Palmer for chiropractic school, for example, I felt like such an oddball when pregnant with Forrest and after he was born--it seemed like almost every other 'Palmer wife' was so deeply devoted to doing things totally naturally (home births, exclusive breastfeeding, no vaccinations, etc), that it was incredibly uncomfortable to even talk to many of them because they were so pushy and insistent about their ideas. (Many were fine and accepting, of course, but some of them were borderline mean toward parents who went the other route--hospital births, epidurals, formula, etc, and you'll NEVER guess which camp I fell into.)<br /><br />I remember being lectured by one mom in the mother's lounge at church once for using disposable diapers ("they are loaded with toxins that make people infertile! don't you want grandkids someday?!") and another who saw me bottle feeding Forrest ("oh, you're not breastfeeding anymore? that's such a shame." Is it? Is it really such a shame?).<br /><br />So at least moms like you and me might be easier and more enjoyable to talk to? :-)Rachel // Maybe Matildahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17737624506695244343noreply@blogger.com