tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post2232196699983452940..comments2023-07-21T03:49:30.877-06:00Comments on The perfect thought at the perfectly wrong time: sleep problemsAmanda S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11252666997988047431noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-75999129348039689932012-11-04T17:57:09.029-07:002012-11-04T17:57:09.029-07:00Amanda! We should talk sometime. Like every othe...Amanda! We should talk sometime. Like every other parent in the world, I too struggle with the sleeping issue. While I'm sure this will provide you with zero help, I'll tell you that my theory is this: You're the parent so find something you feel good about and do it. I sometimes feel a lot of pressure from people who think that kids need to sleep on their own all night long in a crib in their own room. I however, don't feel good about this since my child doesn't seem to love the idea. I try new things all the time and am currently working on getting her to feel more comfortable in the crib. Sometimes I have a lot of success and sometimes I don't. I've decided not to stress over it and to just do what makes me and my baby feel comfortable about things. Everyone else can just stick it! Haha! We should chat this out further sometime.Home on the Grangehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18346611292425202851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-4342304005317465632012-11-02T11:32:16.238-06:002012-11-02T11:32:16.238-06:00Oh Amanda! I am sorry the sleep thing is so frustr...Oh Amanda! I am sorry the sleep thing is so frustrating. It must be so hard to try to work for 8 hours a day! I am only working part time - mostly when Connor is sleeping. Sometimes I try to work while he is awake and it is truly a nightmare. Connor is a real attention hog. <br /><br />Maybe I could watch your baby for a few hours sometime. Good luck with everything!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05960594494218362741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-21659360892409136312012-10-31T16:19:01.697-06:002012-10-31T16:19:01.697-06:00i feel like i know you, i mean surely i dont perso...i feel like i know you, i mean surely i dont personally know you but this morning i came across your blog and it intrigued me and and i actually made my self some tea and i sat down and read so many. dont stop blogging. and i would like to become a member but im not sure how so if you do see this please tell me how to.Cravemypostshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07042722351062263393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-26789044288168012872012-10-28T07:31:44.051-06:002012-10-28T07:31:44.051-06:00I hear ya. It's been really hard for us to dec...I hear ya. It's been really hard for us to decide what sleep training method we want to use, since Sam's not hard-hearted enough for CIO and I am not patient enough for no-cry. And, ok, I feel guilty about CIO, too. I keep thinking awful things like, "If Anna doesn't wake up in the morning, I'll regret my whole life not cuddling her to sleep tonight." How morbid is that?<br /><br />But we've been doing a gradual kind of CIO that some people have already said--we set her down and walk out, come back to soothe her after a few minutes, walk out, soothe, etc., until she falls asleep. She's getting the idea, I think, and is doing better at falling asleep on her own. Or it might be the fact that I've been killing myself this past week watching for her tired signs so I can put her to bed drowsy but not overtired, so she's learning to fall asleep on her own that way. Who knows.<br /><br />It also [seems] to help to put her in the same place for naps as for nighttime sleep, to have a routine for both naps and nighttime, and to put distance between us [so, I set her down in her crib in our bedroom and then go downstairs]. The thing I'm at a loss for is napping. When she wakes up after only a half hour [which is nearly every time], do I try to get her to sleep again or get her up and try again at her next nap time? No clue.Hollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00006154063505547576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-36959527958549525552012-10-27T11:01:37.876-06:002012-10-27T11:01:37.876-06:00Oh, I guess I was on Jeff's account when I lef...Oh, I guess I was on Jeff's account when I left that comment. It was from me :-)Rachel // Maybe Matildahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17737624506695244343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-4800371698102814302012-10-26T21:45:40.502-06:002012-10-26T21:45:40.502-06:00I feel your pain! This is tough. Forrest was defin...I feel your pain! This is tough. Forrest was definitely a very colicky baby, and I also did not like admitting it because I felt like it meant I was failing him or not responding to his needs in some way (plus, it was just sort of sad to have to admit that he wasn't a sweet, perfect little angel baby). He also needed to be fed to fall asleep (although I didn't last long nursing--it just added to my stress level when I wasn't producing enough, wasn't sure if something I was/wasn't eating was contributing to his colic, couldn't let Jeff help when I was exhausted, etc., so I switched to bottle feeding), and that's a tough pattern to break as they get older. <br /><br />We did the same as Katy--let him cry it out while checking in at longer and longer intervals. Of course, I have no idea what goes on in babies' brains, but I don't think you probably need to worry much about him resenting you if you do decide to let him cry. You're not neglecting him, you're helping him learn how to soothe himself and learn to sleep on his own, which are very important life skills that he'll have to learn sooner or later! <br /><br />I also thought that Forrest would just cry and cry and cry forever and never calm down and sleep--Shep might surprise you there. I'm probably going too in-depth and you won't want to read all these details, but just in case you do, when we did the 'cry it out' method with Forrest (at about 4 months old), he cried for I believe an hour or so the first night before going to sleep, then woke I think 2 or 3 times in the night and cried for another hour before going back to sleep (and we were checking in every few minutes to pat his belly, give him a kiss, etc. without comforting him all the way back to sleep or staying too long in the room). The second night, he cried for about half that time, and by the third night he was only crying for a few minutes before falling asleep. For about a month, he would still wake up once in the night (about 4-5 AM) and I would give him a bottle (I wasn't sure if he still needed it or not at that age, but I figured one nightly feeding was still reasonable for a 4-month old), but he gave that up and started sleeping completely through the night after probably a month or two. <br /><br />Maybe that'll give you a little hope for Shep--Forrest was a HOOOOOORRIBLE sleeper before we started letting him cry it out, and I truly 100% believed it wouldn't work or help matters at all, but it made such a huge difference. I hope you don't feel bad about letting him cry if you decide to take that route--I really, really, really do not think that it makes you a bad or neglectful mother (although I know how hard it is to let them cry). I think some babies are just blessed with good sleeping habits on their own, and some need a little tough love to figure things out. JBrown https://www.blogger.com/profile/08793575515751115329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-85372821631963256592012-10-26T17:52:21.152-06:002012-10-26T17:52:21.152-06:00ohmygoodness! Sleep issues are the worst! I rememb...ohmygoodness! Sleep issues are the worst! I remember blearily scouring the internet for tips to get my twins to take longer naps (they were only doing 30-45minutes at a time). They were pretty good at night though. However, there were a few times when we had to let them cry it out to get them to sleep at night. Everytime we did that they'd sleep better for a few months and then we'd have to do it again. We did a variation on the CIO method though. Straight CIO didn't work for them, they would just get more hysterical and wound up (and so would I!). Instead we did the graduated method and it worked great! The basic idea is you let them cry for a minute or so and then you go in and comfort them (but don't pick them up) and then leave again and wait three minutes before going in etc. You gradually increase the interval every time until they fall asleep. At their worst it took less than a week of that for them to be able to soothe themselves to sleep. But every baby is different. I found that method was a nice compromise between straight CIO which I felt wouldn't work and be miserably sleep deprived.<br /><br />Eventually they got better at sleeping the older they got. I feel for you!<br /><br />It's also possible he has an ear infection or is teething. <br /><br />Good luck my dear! He is so darling and I hope he starts sleeping better!Katyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10211212096594975994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-84825719580257262172012-10-26T15:14:49.333-06:002012-10-26T15:14:49.333-06:00Poor girl! Sleeping stuff seems to be the bain (sp...Poor girl! Sleeping stuff seems to be the bain (spelling?) of everyone's existence! There might be some things you can do that won't involve any amounts of crying that eventually could help, like using white noise during naps and nighttime to try to help him sleep longer. I've been using an "Ocean Waves" hour-long soundtrack for Peter, while I'm laying next to him as he falls asleep, and it seems to help. It's helping Luke, at least! ha ha! Again, I can recommend the No-Cry Sleep Solution book as having some great ideas. She's honest, of course, that it will take longer (several weeks), but she promises it can be done with little to no crying. Maybe it could help. Also, prayer. It's amazing the things Heavenly Father can help you with. Remember he loves you. We love you too! Good luck!Luke and Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00091977370489762473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-51245711574737329762012-10-26T14:20:38.999-06:002012-10-26T14:20:38.999-06:00This is such a hard thing. Good luck! And know tha...This is such a hard thing. Good luck! And know that eventually it will get better (no baby phase or challenge stays forever—you'll figure it out).Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01724831105566130834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-79369823168001098432012-10-26T14:15:40.202-06:002012-10-26T14:15:40.202-06:00Amanda!! I can't relate (yet), but this post d...Amanda!! I can't relate (yet), but this post describes so well the frustration you must be feeling. I hope you and Shepherd work something out soon!! Good luck!Joanna Galbraithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16715169452474788171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6495187143203589224.post-17925524997689425722012-10-26T13:01:11.976-06:002012-10-26T13:01:11.976-06:00parenting is hard! it'd be hard enough if we ...parenting is hard! it'd be hard enough if we were well rested, but add sleepy on top and it's just tough.<br />my first child was a champion sleeper - he had a big independent streak, and truly enjoyed alone time, so we were able to put him down for sleep by himself without any trouble. he responded really well to sleep training and at 6 weeks was going 6 hours at a time between feedings.<br />my second, though, sounds like your baby - doesn't enjoy alone time, and prefers sleeping in my arms to sleeping alone. after #1, i found this hard to deal with, especially since i had to run around in the daytime after a VERY busy toddler!<br />but sleep training was worth it, and she's doing great - falling asleep on her own now, and sleeping for long chunks of time. i know it's a lot of work, but it will probably take less time than you think. worse case scenario, sleep training will take a month ... and then you can finally get some solid sleep! and a month sounds awful, but it's bound to be better than continuing to be tired. and maybe the sleep training is just the tool your little guy needs in order to learn to self-soothe and rest well.<br />i know that no method works for every single baby, but if you have a sleep training book and try its suggestions, even if they don't work you're no further behind than before you started.<br />good luck! and sweet dreams :).janellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11806827491230876808noreply@blogger.com