http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/07/26/138709595/6-year-old-shark-attack-victim-i-forgive-him
I read this blog the other day. I thought it was amusing, slightly, because it seemed like a ridiculous story to garner such a large amount of media coverage. But beyond that, I felt it was funny that the mother talked to her child about the shark this way: "The shark didn't mean to, it was an accident," and the child then saying "I forgive the shark." My thought? The shark doesn't need your forgiveness, child.
One person wrote, 'How about, "I don't hold a grudge against sharks, or the natural, instinctual actions of wild animals in general." Forgiveness it not called for, not relevant, and certainly not cared about (even known about) by the animal. It may be just as important to teach a child not to anthropomorphize.'
And I tend to agree/relate to that comment. (This commenter was accused of being a cynic in another comment. Guilty as charged?) Maybe it's because I don't really like animals too much, so I'm not interested in being "friends" with them. Or for my children to be (I often dread becoming a pet owner, which seems inevitable as a parent). It's a natural thing to do as a kid, to love animals. I might have even been that way myself before I started calling myself mature and seeing no value, only inconvenience, associated with owning a pet. Oh, and I might have felt that way before that one time when a dog bit my face off. That incited some dog dislike. But was forgiving the dog really an issue? Was blaming the dog really an issue? Animals are animals, and their behavior is unpredictable and not motivated by agency. I don't think I really can be any kind of judge there.
So how does this serve as a predictor of my inadequacy as a mother? It serves to show that I don't think like a child and don't know how to think like a child, nor do I understand how to appreciate the way children think.
You know, I have never really had strong or close relationships with people that aren't in my "life phase" (which I feel bad about). When I was a kid myself, I appreciated kids. When I was a teenager, I appreciated other teenagers (Though, as a whole? Probably not even then . . . Hardy har har! Take that, teenagers!) Since I've become an "adult"? Not really. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around children (and very old people, too). I don't know how to talk to them or love them.
Ergo . . .
